Confessions of an Heiress....

Believing, Prioritizing, Transforming

2011-09-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Three themes have been running on parallel tracks through my mind for the last two weeks:

Believing
Prioritizing
Transforming

God has not audibly spoken these themes over my life (oh that He would!), but they have become obvious to me through multiple encounters of each topic. Over the last fourteen days or so, these specific words have popped up separately and unsolicited all around me. Through devotionals, articles, the words of friends, and magazines (even Woman's Day...which I still question how I got on their subscription list...). God has made it evident to me that I have issues to address regarding these areas.

Believing, Prioritizing, and Transforming do not necessarily relate to each other, but God has divinely weaved each of these into my life in such a way that I clearly see how they are not mutually exclusive in my life during this point in time.

Believe: a verb meaning "to have confidence in the assertions of (a person or God)"; to have a conviction that (God) is, has been, or will be engaged in a given action.

First off, I do believe! Don't I remember when my 7 year old self walked down the aisle of Double Branch Baptist and accepted Jesus into my heart? Of course I did, and that is a non-trivial belief. I have come to realize, however, that believing God now and tomorrow is not automatically included in the God's gift of salvation. Additionally, believing God is deeper than believing in His existence. Many people believe He exists, but God calls me to believe He will do in my grace-soaked life more than I could ever fathom (Ephesians 3:20). Sure, I believe in His Heavenly Kingdom and I believe that I will spend eternity in a beautiful place He has prepared for me. Yet, do I believe Him for the humanly impossible while I still physically reside in my home on Spanish Forest Lane in Houston, Texas? Do I pray with confidence that He hears and has the power to change those circumstances I bring before His throne? Do I believe that His love for me really and truly has not-one-thing to do with my performance?

God, the Master of the Universe, the One who holds sway over ALL things, has invited me (and you) to get to know him as Lord and friend. The Only True God, who has the power to raise the dead to life, is willing and ready and ABLE to act on my behalf and on your behalf when we ask and believe He is capable of delivering the object of our request.

Priorities: (priority in it's plural form). noun. The state or quality of being earlier in occurence; the right to precede others in order, rank; precedence; something given special, first in line attention.

If you have had any kind of conversation with me over the last 12 months, I probably gave you some indication of how spastic-crazy-overwhelmingly busy I have been at work. Did I say overwhelmingly? From 5:10 a.m. when my alarm goes off until 11:30 - 12:00 a.m. when I finally turn off my laptop, I don't stop. Not once. Lunches are normally eaten as I sit at my desk preparing for the next phone call, and the invention of the cell phone enables me to hold meetings during my daily commute. Facebook status updates are written either at a stoplight, while on hold, or as I walk from one task to the next. The allotted time to check and respond to personal email is while I'm waiting in line in a fast-food drive thru. I know you're thinking this is a psychotic pace, but I am willing to bet some or all of you have (to some degree) similar schedules.

I was not surprised when the Lord confronted me with a priority check. Just like the subject of believing Him, I started hearing from Him about my priorities in numerous forms and by several modes of communication. The most recent was this morning, and it was so apparent that I immediately dropped to my knees so that I could make sure I was hearing Him correctly (you would think I didn't have to be told for the 24th time). The last 12 months of my life flashed before my eyes: images of "family time" with my laptop in the place where Luke's head would normally rest; vacations where I made phone calls when I should have been enjoying the beach; dinners I have missed because there was a report due the next day; pre-school parties where I had an achingly hurtful absence because of a "very important call". Last, but not least, I see my husband sleeply soundly in our bed, after waiting for an hour or more for the laptop to click shut. Suffice it to say, God could not have spelled it out more succintly than He did with that mental montage He rolled through my mind.

Instead of being racked with guilt about my upside down priority list, I am thankful God loves me so much that He pursues change in me. He has persistently put up red flags all over the place, because He knows I am missing my best life when I pursue emptiness. You see, sacrificing my family relationships is one thing; but beyond that, He wants me. Jesus Christ wants to be Lord over my time, my money, my work life, my thoughts, my friendships. He saved me so that I could live under the freedom of His Lordship. When I am running at such a maniacal pace where I literally schedule restroom breaks (no exaggeration), there is something wrong with my priorities. There is something "off" in my motives because GOD, even GOD, rested.

Transforming: verb. to change in condition, nature, character or structure. metamorphose.

Tranformation means "to change".

My all-or-nothing, win-or-lose, tendency towards perfectionism insists that transformation is (or should be) instantaneous. To be certain, when Jesus saved me from eternal death apart from Him, He instantly transferred me from death to life. However the process of transformation...of sanctification...will not be fully complete until I stand before God in heaven. In the here and now, God transforms me from glory to glory: sometimes little by little and, at times, huge by huge.

Without going into detail, part of this most recent theme of transformation in my life has included butterflies, which literally show up in unexpected places. God is so cool like that, because you read that correctly. Butterflies. Everywhere. The metamorphisis of caterpillars into butterflies is one of the most common examples of transformation we have to symbolize the process of change in the life of a believer. Paul says in Romans 12:2 that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. We go through a process of change when we submit ourselves to the Truth of God's Word. If we are actively pursuing God's Word, believing it to the point that it affects our daily lives (in thought, conduct, behavior) - then we cannot be "un-transformed".

Still, I want it now. I don't want to wait. So I try in my own might to be different: to say the things a good Christian would say, to act wisely and speak graciously like a perfect Christian should! Then the Lord mercifully reminds me that true transformation is impossible without Him. I can alter my behavior from time to time, but it only takes a conversation with my husband for you to discover some things never truly change without the radical transforming power of God. (This woman who so desperately longs for perfection really does not like to admit that, by the way!)

Jesus is the Master Transformer. Unless I humble myself and allow Him to transform me moment by moment, choice by choice, day by day...from glory to glory, then I will remain the same. Who wants to be the same?

My mind-set is tracking from a different perspective these days. God cares enough about us to speak to us about issues in our life He would like to lovingly change. He does this for our good and His glory. When we are attentive to Him and willingly welcome His refining fire, we live smack dab in the middle of the abudant life He promised to us. The great news is, we don't have to be ship-shape-holy to live in relationship with Jesus! If that were the case, there would be no human eligible for a seat next to Him! We can stand confidently in His presence based on the blood of Jesus alone. My soul leaps (literally) when I acknowledge that my ideal dream of perfection is meaningless in the light of Jesus' salvation! Praise God, I can NEVER be perfect without His righteousness...I can never be so stain-free that I don't need Him.

It's clear God and I have much to talk about these days. I have a good idea that as I listen to Him, I will be believe Him more. I would bet my house that believing Him will lead to "priority realignment". Doesn't that mean He is transforming me...?

Believing God is willing and able.
Prioritizing my life according to His purpose for me.
Transforming my life by the renewing of my mind.

I am just flat-out happy that He loves me.

That's all.

If you want something - you have to intentionally go after it.

2011-05-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Growing up. Maturing. Getting wiser.

One would ideally learn how to "do life" wisely at a younger age than 33. I have never been the "ideal", so let's toss that expectation out the window.

To view my life on a timeline, you would see numerous fits and starts, starts and stops, wind-ups and wind-downs, detours and u-turns. Needless to say, if there is a lesson to be learned, I will find the hardest way to learn it. If you ask my parents or my husband, they can vouch that these lessons can be very expensive...and often experienced and paid for at least three times before my hard head "gets it". Which is the number one reason I am amazed by the grace of God.

God gave me an undeniable vision for my life when I was 21 years old. This vision was etched so clearly onto my heart that I have never doubted God's divine purpose for me. Even as I type this, my heart beats double time at the thought that He picked me for a reason. But God's vision for my life and the life I have chosen to live have often not collaborated. If you are anything like me, when you want something, you want it now. For instance, FedEx overnight takes too long and Amazon one-click for iPhone is a delightful invention because you can make impulsive purchases without waiting until you are at your computer. Clearly, I have a problem with the "waiting" part in the definition of patience.

Here I am, 12 long years after God initially planted this vision in the depths of my soul...and no, I'm still not "there" yet. I sit here laughing to myself, because although that vision has not exploded into reality at this immediate point in time, I can see His gracious leadership all over those detours and left turns I have chosen. Many of those pit stops on the scatter plot have been where my sin-sick flesh directed all of my choices; and the u-turns are where He would lovingly draw me back.

All of this time, He has not been taken aback with surprise at my missteps or my willful attempts to self-indulge. Rather, He has continued to faithfully weave His plan together for how my life will bring Him the most glory. Despite my adamant belief in His designs for my life, this messy path I have walked has certainly birthed much indignation, frustration and insecurity. I have often floated from self-righteous shouts of, "I know this is what He's made me for...so then why can't He just blink me into that person?" to cries of insecurity and unbelief, "He can't even use my pathetic life at all. I'll never be what He made me to be!"

As of May 31, 2011, I'm still waiting; but I'm not passively waiting with the attitude that God just sprinkles me with fairy dust to make my dreams come true. I can look back over the past year and a half and see specific paradigm shifts which have inspired change and significant growth. I see new relationships which have served to challenge me and hold me accountable to moving towards the vision for my life. I see the triple-huge blessing of my mentor, Tanya Whitaker, whose path intersected with mine in a way that can be described only as chosen and purposed by God. I also see a date on my calendar of June 26, 2011, which is nothing less than a divinely gifted opportunity for me to use my God-made talents. It's a small opportunity...certainly not what one could mistake as "the big time" by any means. Yet, for me, it's proof that God has not ever changed His mind about me. It is proof that each step I have taken since that day 12 years ago has not been meaningless.

You might be wondering why I am writing about this; and you may even wonder if I often sit around obsessing about where I am versus where I should be. For the record, I don't...and the impetus of this post is not random at all. I'm going to be joining my niece (well, technically she is my niece because she is my husband's brother's son's wife. She's just six years younger than I am, though...so it's kind of weird to call her my niece; but I digress.) in a study by her pastor, Craig Groeschel, called The Chazown Experience. The following quote by Craig sums up the purpose of the study:

"Jesus did not die for us so that we could stumble around ignorant of our reason for existence."
~Craig Groeschel

Forgive the superficial overview, but the basis of the study is to determine how to live out God's vision for your life. Chazown is a Hebrew word translated as "dream, revelation, or vision". The Bible says that when people lack vision, they lack self-restraint (Proverbs 29:18). If people don't dream and plan and intentionally set out towards a goal...then there is no end goal, therefore no achievement; and thus, there is no discipline involved in seeking out that achievement. Anyone who knows me would tell you I wholeheartedly believe in the benefits of planning; and I admittedly concede that I tend to be excessive with my planning at times. Regardless of my personal extremities, failing to plan is a plan in itself: a plan to go nowhere.

I don't believe in coincidence, so the fact that God put this study in front of my face at this very point in my life is humbling to me. He knows right where I am and what I am ready to embrace. He knows that I can't wait to see what He does next. He knows that without vision and direction - His people will perish. (He also knows that when He created Amy McGehee Dalke, He gave her an innate desire to love plans and anything requiring organization and strcuture.) If you have read any blog entry of mine over the last two plus years, you have likely seen a few of my "starts and stops"...and unfinished "plans". I did have lovely intentions, but unfortunately, those intentions were coupled with a lack of commitment and a measure of ADD.
Mainly those were my pitiful attempts to jump ahead of God (because He obviously was not keeping a fast enough clip on my timeline!).

So here goes: I've caught a brief glimpse of the vision God has for His glory in my life; and I am deliberately going after it. I want to see more of God and experience more of Him - and I want to be committed and intentional in this pursuit. I am wise enough (dear Lord, finally!) to know I have not one ounce of ability on my own. The great news is that I know God has all the ability I could possibly ever need.

It would thrill me to me toes if someone joined me in this study. I'll be your best friend if you will...(okay, so I said I have matured....but I didn't say how much!).

p.s. you should check out Allison's blog, too: The Intentional Peace. Talk about someone who is mature for 27 years old...she's kind of mind-blowingly awesome (although I swear she would blush if you ever told her that).

It's all about focus..(and that's hard if you're ADD)

2011-01-29T12:45:00.000-08:00

"You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to you, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You." Isaiah 26:3 (Amplified Bible)

I have no idea if any person reading this will relate to me, but I have a focus problem. I undoubtedly carry a heaping-helping of the ADD gene, but this particular focal crisis is not about my inability to light my mind in one place. It's about the determination to light my mind in the right place.

Isaiah 26:3 is a verse I turn to over and over when I need to settle my mind on Truth. And do I ever need to settle my mind on Truth. If you are like me at all, your mind can jump from worry and hyper-analysis, to fear or dissatisfaction in less than a heartbeat. When I am not actively meditating on God's word and letting Him fill my mind with Him, I'm a mess. Once I left my eyes fall from the throne of grace, it doesn't take long for me to start looking for something else to satisfy me. I memorized this verse years ago in the NIV, ("You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You,"), but today I came across the Amplified version (above). I assure you that I will be analyzing every single word and phrase in that verse during my quiet times this week. [This is totally a sidebar comment, but I love the way "stayed on You" sounds. It's one of those phrases that just melts my heart...and maybe because my heart longs so badly to be "stayed on" one thing!]

Isaiah chapter 26 is a song of trust in God's protection. It declares that absolute dependance on God is the only way to roll. Isaiah says that the perfect peace we long for comes from completely leaning on (looking at!) the Lord. This passage was part of Isaiah's prophecy that the remnant would return to their land of promise; and when they did - they would wholeheartedly testify that perfect and constant peace is only found in believing God.

So where does the focus issue come into play? Have I just gone on a tangent halfway through this post? No, I really do have a point!

The ancient Israelites had a focus problem! Tracing all the way back to Moses' era, they would no sooner experience one miraculously G0d-given deliverance after another - before they would be throwing in all the gold they had to craft the image of a cow! He gave them everything they needed, but how quickly their minds darted to the worship of something paltry in comparison!

They took their minds off of Yahweh, and turned them to what they could see. Just like me, their gaze became fixed on the tangible; they stared at the circumstances without taking into account the power of the God who Delivered. The God who Delivers. The God who will Deliver.

Those fellow humans of ours made the same mistake over and over and over...for years! Therefore I can only imagine that when Isaiah penned this particular song, he reflected on the power of focus. We know it didn't take long for them to lose sight of the One True God...and as a result, it was snap before they were whining at the consequences. But when they were returned...once they were back in the safety of God's protection, I bet they would tell you with authority that you risk your life (physically in their case; spirtually in ours) when you turn your eyes to another savior.

Given that idolatry can be described as excessive adoration, it's clear that what we focus on drives who we are (in character, in action, in daily life). When our focus is rightly fixed on the One who is worthy of our adoration and our worship, our mind is settled in peace. perfect peace. constant peace.

There used to me a radio commerical about one of those herbal supplements called Focus Factor. I never took it - even though Larry hinted that he wished I would. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have worked, but I'm challenging you to let the Word be your Focus Factor this week. If you commit to even 10 minutes every morning...simply reading one verse over and over...rolling it around...looking at it backwards and forwards....upside down/inside out, your focus will be re-leveled.

And sometimes, a little focal shift is all we need.

Mental War Games

2011-01-16T08:38:00.000-08:00

The first line in my journal today says, "God, is this what crazy feels like?"

I could be an informercial today for PMS. No doubt. Just ask Larry, or even Luke. As the saying goes, "when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy..." They can testify to the accuracy of that statement.

This entire weekend, I have been in the midst of a mental war game so intense, so heated, that this morning I was forced to my knees in desperation of deliverance. The wonderful hormonal shifts that I am experiencing right now were no added benefit, but they weren't the root of this battle. This war's original battle took place years ago, when Satan first began to whisper deception into my welcoming ears. Although long fought and hard won, the master deceiver still gets jabs in every now and then when I'm weak and "uncovered".

We went to church last night, so this Sunday morning started later than usual. I rolled out of bed (prompted by an incessantly "ready" 5 year old boy) and desperately sought out my beloved coffee. No sooner than I sat down at the bar with my peanut butter and jelly toast, the temptations began assaulting me. As the battle heated, my mind felt like the setting for an old civil war movie. One lie, one temptation after another were thrown at me; and instead of automatically fighting back with TRUTH, I tried fighting on my own. This was not a pretty picture, because when I'm fighting on my own, I just become angry. I snap. I grown. I complain. I whine about "how it's so hard.."

My sweet husband grabbed me, hugged me with all his might, and authoratively reminded me that I needed God's word to fight this. So I stubbornly marched myself into the bedroom, pulled out my bible and sat. Angrily. After a few seconds of sulking, I flipped open the word of God and just bawled my puffy eyes out. I begged Him to just reach down and pull me out of this fight. For crying out loud, God, can't You just grab me up and pull me out of this battlefield?

In a matter of minutes, a soft wind of His faithfulness blew right across my mind. In the depths of my spirit, He gently whispered that my weapons of warfare are not fleshly weapons.

Immediately I went to 2 Corinthians 10: 4-5, "..for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations (lies!) and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..."

I began to imagine myself being assaulted by flaming blasts of untruths, Satan's way of leading me into disaster. As the fiery darts of his lies were coming at me, I realized I had a shield. The shield of faith, wherewith I have the ability to stand up and defend myself from the brutal weapons of the enemy. Instead of sitting back and allowing myself to be brainwashed, I can wield spiritual weapons that have the power to demolish fortresses of deceit.

Not only that, GOD is my Mighty Fortress of Strength. Of TRUTH. Of Victory. In the ugliest point of battle, I ran to Him. I ran to my Rock of comfort and deliverance. And now I'm sitting here telling on the enemy. Telling others how he didn't win this time. Telling others that though he can get me down to a point of "crazy", God has my back.

Take heart. Though the battle wages long and victory seems impossible, our weapons are not wimpy weapons. We can powerfully fight with the Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God..the Truth), and when we fight with Truth - Satan always loses. He's a loser by his very nature, and listening to him and believing we are hopeless is a ludicrous fallacy.

Instead of moping around today and reacting to every situation with a short fuse, I am going to spend the day with my precious son and loving husband. We will certainly all rejoice at this particular win...because when momma is happy, we're all happy. When mommy stands up to the voice of the enemy and yells, "Liar!!", the whole family is refreshed by the fragrance of victory.

If you know me, you know I'm as competitive as it gets...so victory is even that much sweeter. There will undoubtedly be many more battles in this war. But I won this one...and I'll win the next one, as long as I choose to run to the only Fortress that is indestructible....my Jesus.

I-NEED-MORE-WANT-MORE-GOTTA-HAVE THIS-AND-MORE-OF-THAT

2010-08-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

Six months ago my therapist (yes, I have one) told me that I am all about "more, more, more".

This theory was in early development on the previous evening when I forced Larry to do yoga with me. I had just received my Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown and wanted to try it out. After the 30 minute workout, where Jillian rocks the attempted yoga-laid-back-half ponytail, I complained that the routine wasn't hard enough. Larry, dripping in sweat and aching muscles, asked me why I couldn't just be satisfied that I had worked out for half an hour.

I know I'm obsessive-compulsive about generally everything in life, but I have never considered that I had a more-is-better attitude.

So this subject came up in therapy yesterday, with my sweet therapist who probably loves me like a daughter. A daughter who is actually a cash cow versus one who drains her pocket. I have seen this particular counselor on and off for the last 7 years (not weekly....or even yearly..lest you think I'm a real basket case).

Onto my more-more-more hypothesis: yes, everything in my life tends to fall into an all-or-nothing category. I'm totally a black and white thinker, because seriously, who has time for gray? When I discover something I enjoy, I typically want more of it. But not only more of it, more in the sense that it's all I think about. I want more exercise, more clothes, more wall decor, more purses/handbags and more money. My word, I will go to the mall to shop for Christmas presents for others, and then come home with new shoes or the new placemats I desperately needed for my spring season kitchen arrangement. So maybe I'm a bit extreme. Told you.
But seriously, when you go to the mall to buy your gifts this year - look at the clothes they have displayed: we're literally already in the spring fashion season. It's all just so overwhelming to me. The shorts and skirts and cute warm weather outfits just kicks my mind into overdrive about which wardrobe pieces I need to purchase to be in style for spring. And I want MORE. of all of it!

I don't think I'm alone. The American Dream is all about having, doing and being more. It's about climbing the ladder (whether corporate or social) and announcing to the world that we are "someone" because we have more. I heard a story today about a little 9 year old boy who was made fun of by his peers at school because he had a hole in his jeans (in an undesirable area). The boy and his father are apparently living out of a motel room, and the boy came to school this morning hungry because they had no food for dinner last night. I hear that story, and then I reflect on my more mentality. My biggest worry right now is whether I have spent equal amounts of money on all four kids for Christmas, compared to others who don't even know if they'll eat tonight...and much less know what or IF they will have anything under the tree on Christmas morning.

Oh how I think Jesus is grieved when we seek our "more" from this world. In Paul's first letter to Timothy, he says, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." (1 Timothy 6:6-8 NIV)

How does this even work? Without bouncing to the other extreme (and taking on a form of poverty i.e. sell the cars, house, etc and move to Cambodia), how does one live amidst the extravagance of our culture and remain content with what we have? My answer to this is Jesus. Living a life soaked in His presence, in His Word, is the only way to rise above the pull of the world and its' rat race. You and I can have Jesus in unlimited supply, and He even tells us to ask for more of his Holy Spirit. As a woman with a keen eye towards any possible obsession, having an addiction to Jesus is my answer. Someone can read this and think I'm unrealistic or way too extreme. I am convinced, however, that to live a life in pursuit of anything but Jesus is deadly. Obviously, a passion for purses or promotion may not kill you physically; but if those things are the center of your universe, your soul will live a sickly life. I have lived these things and know them to be all too true.

I suggest that for the next three days, you meditate on what it is that really matters. (ugh, does this sound like an NPR segment?). Seriously, though, I pray you don't even see yourself in this description. If you do, I pray that you'll realize what you need more of is Jesus and only Jesus.

Disneyland and My New Reality Show

2010-08-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

Last week, Larry, Luke and I went to Los Angeles to spend time with Lauren. Before we even arrived at the airport, Luke was asking why we still in Houston. The poor child is just now learning the concept of time calculated in minutes and hours, and he was distraught that we wouldn’t arrive by simply clicking our heels.

Once we landed at LAX, we still had to pick up our rental car and waste away precious hours in the car amidst the lovely 405 traffic. What should have been a 17 minute trip was a 2 hour trip because of the glorious splendor of Los Angeles cramped roadways. I thought Luke was going to come unglued until he finally fell asleep in the back seat. Those traffic delays were a blessing because you haven’t seen a monster until you’ve seen Luke Dalke without a nap.

Lauren couldn’t meet us at the hotel until later in the evening, so after we walked around a bit, we went to the hotel pool. I would have highly preferred some Rodeo Drive shopping. But mind you, I was with a 52 year old husband and a 4 year old son; therefore any hope of an enjoyable shopping excursion was only a wish and a prayer.

The pool at the Hotel Roosevelt was awesome: Young, Hip, and Hollywood. We would have fit right in if we could be described as either of the latter. Needless to say, we got much attention because Luke was the only person under 21 in the entire hotel. All the drunken girls (and guys) were fawning over him, bringing him pool toys and encouraging him to swim with them. He thought he was the coolest thing to hit that scene since Lindsay Lohan.

We went to Disneyland on Saturday; and Luke could remember every single thing about it from last year. He could remember so much, that instead of checking out every ride – he had a mental list of the ones he wanted to do first. And after those were finished, he wanted to do them again. So much for variety. We basically replayed every step we made last summer, and when his list was fulfilled he wanted to go back to the hotel to swim. He must not have understood that staying for only 4 hours was hardly worth the $378 we paid for admission. I complain, but I was ever so thankful that we didn’t have to stay for the parade.

Santa Monica beach was the setting for our Sunday. Lauren and I sat peacefully on the beach, while Larry and Luke jumped the waves. Luke absolutely loved getting his body caked with sand and then washing himself off in the ocean. By noon, he was ready to go back to the hotel and swim; but I thought we would never make it back to our car because we had to stop and pick up seashells every 5 feet. Lauren picked out a super good café for lunch: Jack and Jill’s. We had the best cornbread I’ve ever had, and Luke had homemade macaroni and cheese. However, it didn’t come out of a Kraft box, so he refused to eat it. It apparently didn’t taste like mommy’s beloved recipe.

Sunday evening we were all caught on camera for Mario Lopez’s new reality show coming out in the fall. Apparently the show is about Mario's trek into fatherhood after his girlfriend (or not) got pregnant. I can just see the montage of Larry, Luke and me as Mario sees fatherhood and family life flash before his eyes. Hopefully, the mother will still be in that picture. If not - then there goes my television premiere. Regardless, I’m sure they’ll probably contact me in a week or so and offer me a show of my own. I think I would tell them instead that I prefer to be on Real Housewives.

All in all, the weekend was wonderfully memorable. We had such a great time with Lauren, who we don’t get to see nearly enough. And Luke’s favorite souvenir is a pillow pet: a cow that he named Lauren Dalke. I am not quite sure how Lauren feels about being likened to a cow; but Luke has bragged about his sister (and her namesake) to everyone he’s talked to since we’ve been home.

I will keep you posted on my new reality show shooting schedule. It's sure to be equivalent to something Young, Hip and Hollywood.

The Decision is Life or Death

2010-07-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

"But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 1:16

This verse hit me between the eyes last night. My friend and I are in week one of Kelly Minter's Ruth bible study. When we picked this particular study, I was cynically thinking that I knew the book inside out; therefore I probably wouldn't learn anything new. It's funny that I'm always wrong when I think I know everything.

Although Ruth is saying these words to Naomi (her bitter mother-in-law) about their journey back to Bethelem, I realized that I was in the same situation....though on a spiritual rather than physical journey.

Naomi and her husband, along with their two daughters-in-law left Bethelem for Moab. Naomi's husband and sons eventually died, and Naomi decided to return to her home. I have heard and read this story 203 times since I was in Sunday School as a child. Yet I never grasped that Naomi and her family initially left Bethelem (their God-given land) for Moab, which was enemy territory. Moab was a country without God's favor, without His blessing. Therefore they were essentially leaving the place God had given them, for a land they thought would be better. Because, naturally, the grass is always greener and the land is more desirable on the other side.

Aren't I often tempted to leave "my land" when I think something else is better? Hasn't that been my situation for the last six months? Doesn't this all go back to Eve believing what the stupid serpent said was better than what God had provided already?

Without going off on Eve's tangent, Ruth's words struck me to the core. She committed in her heart to do the right thing - the "thing" that required devotion and faith. She emphatically told Naomi that she would go wherever she went....and would worship whomever she worshiped. This commitment resounded within me like that big gong on Let's Make a Deal. I had drifted into an unknown land, a land that I convinced myself was just a mini-vacation spot. Even though I knew this trip was altogether wrong, I was stubborn-headed and foolish enough to convince myself that my choices are sometimes better than God's.
And now, God has lovingly interrupted that journey because He wants me home. He knows that His joy and peace are mine only within the borders of His planned "land" for me. The enemy can tempt and taunt and deceive and make valiant efforts to make a very wrong situation look beautiful and enticing and thrilling. Then when you arrive in that place, the walls crumble; it's not what you thought; it's ugly, sinful, and just plain devastating. This place makes you weary, and it's void of peace and full of deceit. Home, you realize, is ripe with abundance, joy, love and truth.

So you make the decision to return. You grasp the gracious hand of God and allow Him to lead you back to His arms. And you cry out with the determination of Ruth and say, "I will go where you go...and I will stay where you stay." And you pray that God would trade your heart of stone for a heart of flesh...because you know that it's not sheer willpower that will keep you home. It's only His perfect love that drew you back, and it's only by absolute surrender to His love that makes you stay.

I do have a purpose -- I really, really do!

2010-07-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

You know I haven’t posted a normal post in a long time when the topic of this post alludes to the fact that I need to re-establish a purpose here. If that did not make sense, I’m sorry. It didn’t even make much sense to me, but I so love the word “alludes” and really needed to find a sentence in which to use it.

Now that you are completely lost, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the purpose of my blog. A normal, successful blogger would have thought about this before ever writing their first post. However I always like to do things backwards. And if you ask God, He will tell you I also do things stubbornly, pridefully, sinfully backwards. But that's altogether another topic. Thus far, I have used this blog to compose everything from toddler anecdotes to sermon summarizations to my own investigative findings in scripture. I have even shared excerpts from cooking disasters, and I have blogged about reading the Bible in 90 days...which I quit after 3 months (i'm doing that again, though...minus the blog commitments....one thing at a time, please). With all that taken into consideration, I believe it’s time for a singular purpose here, and I know all three of you who read this have been wondering when I would draw this conclusion.

I originally started blogging because if I’m not writing something, I get overly explosive inside (no, not hormonally explosive). It’s like words must come out through my fingertips onto a keyboard or I will spontaneously combust. And of course, there is the part of me which loves for others to be encouraged by my mistakes or truths I have learned as a result of those mistakes. Frankly, I just always like an audience; and I’m not too proud to admit that. It’s a nice thing to know that people actually (on occasion) read what I write, and if in some way you are inspired by these humble words of mine, then praise God.

So without further adieu (another word I really like), the purpose of this blog will be to exemplify the lifestyle of a true heiress in Christ: rich in love, full of mercy and completely dependant on her benefactor.

I hope some one person in some way at some point in time will be blessed by the words written here.

I fell off the face of the earth....

2010-07-02T09:42:00.001-07:00

Hi Friends,

I am sheepishly writing this post....

The last few months in my life have not been full of shining moments. Needless to say, I retreated; talked to very few people; ceased any form of online communication unless it was work-related; and basically hid in a hole.

I won't discuss the reasons or issues or anything like that, simply because they are too fresh and too personal. I will say, however, that my mind has cleared and God's mercies are new every morning. I am so utterly thankful that He loves me even though I'm a mess. I'm super glad that He heals and loves and offers amazing, limitless grace. This girl is just a fool at times....a fool who needs Jesus.

SO, there you have it. I'm here. alive and well. and back to blogging. AND, get this: I'm doing the Bible in 90 Days again....this time, I'm not quitting in the second month. Take that, Devil.

2010-03-09T17:56:00.000-08:00

An update on the exciting life of Amy Dalke.

I have spent the last two months in a blur. It seems as though I have had barely enough time to read two rounds of the Little Critter books with Luke before bed. So that's why I haven't been writing lately.....not that I have less time in 24 hours than anyone else; blogging just hasn't been a priority (even though that was a New Year's resolution). Well, another one bites the dust. I'm used to it. (grin)

But this post isn't a whine session, although I'm pretty skilled at that. In all actuality, this post isn't about anything of substance. Oh yeah, except for that introductory sentence.....an update on my exciting life. I think I have already covered that when I mentioned the Little Critter books. That's about as eventful as it gets around here.

One thing I have learned since January 1, 2010, is that I constantly need God. I cannot make one decision without Him. I am absolutely convinced that He is IT. He is everything to me.
Without Him, I'm done. A waste. A fool.

Of course, I'm not just realizing that....but it has become blatantly clear to me over the last two and a half months that I am just a disaster waiting to happen when I step out of His light. When I try to convince myself that doing things my way "won't be so bad".....I'm brought directly to my knees in desperation. This enlightenment should not have to take on such regularity, except that I am as stubborn as they come. Pride rears its ugly head in me so quickly that I literally need the Word to be intravenously fed to me at times.

I am ever so thankful - increasingly grateful - for grace. As a 32-year old woman prone to wander, I am humbled by the fact that His grace is sufficient for even me.

I'm off now to have birthday cake with a sweet 11 year old girl. And yes, the exciting life continues....

Walking Through Spider Webs

2010-02-07T07:14:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks: so much for that resolution of writing 3 posts a week. :)

Although I have not been consistent thus far in the blogging portion of my resolution, I HAVE stayed on track with reading the Bible in 90 days. I'm patting myself on the back for that one, because this consistently inconsistent gal needs some sort of self-congratulation when relative success has been achieved.

That introductory prideful paragraph has nothing to do with the subject of this post, however. So pretend I have just written a beautiful transition paragraph [here].

I have recently been working closely with a client, who has (on the surface) an astounding ego and a confident presence in the world of economic consulting. His educational background is revered in his particular line of business; and at a young age, he has built for himself an empire which his competitors covet.
With multimillions in the bank and houses across the country, this man is what the world deems successful. He writes policy papers that stimulate new trends in one of our world's largest industries, and he testifies as an expert in high-profile lawsuits on behalf of his Fortune 10 clients.
This man, however, is empty. He is constantly searching for "more". The checks aren't big enough; the glamorous trips don't satisfy; and his mini kingdom doesn't fulfill the ache in his heart. Although he has certainly not communicated this information to me, it's obvious that he is insecure and unsatisfied.

I have spent time with him, in which he is constantly trying to impress me with his achievements: both financial and intellectual. He talks of his ability to do anything and go anywhere that money can afford.

As I was reading my Day 38 today, this man came to mind as I read one of Jobs' friend's monologues. I found such truth in Bildad's words:

"What he trusts in is fragile; what he relies on is a spider's web. He leans on his web, but it gives way; he clings to it, but it does not hold." -Job 8:14

Though my client has "the world at his fingertips," he holds on to emptiness.

We can trust in our status, but it does not hold against the weight of disaster.
We can trust in our ability to do business, but it does not hold when the economy takes a downward spiral.
We can trust in our intellect, but it does not hold when no one else listens.
We can trust in our athletic ability, but it does not hold when we suffer a season-ending injury.
We can trust in our appearance, but when natural aging takes place, physical beauty fades.
We can trust in our health, but the doctor's words remind us this body wasn't built to last forever.
We can trust in our bank account as security against disaster, but this, too, is temporary.

Our only hope is to trust in God's unfailing love. God has promised that, "He will never leave us, nor forsake us." (Hebrews 13:5); He has given us the unbreakable assurance that, "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39)

So for my client who trusts in his spider webs, I pray for his eyes to be opened. For me, I pray for constant awareness of the frailty of worldly security. I pray for the ability to recognize the deceitfulness of riches and to flee from it's clutches.

The Lord is good, and His lovingkindness endures forever. He is the ONE thing, the ONLY thing, that endures forever. AMEN.

18 days straight

2010-01-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

I'm on Day 18 of Reading the Bible in 90 Days. Can I even tell you how much I'm patting myself on the back because I have consistently done something for the last 18 days??

Actually, doing something consistently for the last 18 days is not the big shocker. The fact that I have consistently done something that is not self destructive for the last 18 days is the big deal.

Oh please, you know what I mean. It's not like I have a drug habit or anything like that. Although as prone to sin as I am, it's only by the grace of God that I'm not begging and stealing for my next drug fix.

Can we skip that entire introduction? Because I don't want my mom to get a whiff of this post and think I need to be in therapy for drug related issues. No, mom; I'm just being relative here.

Back to this post's original intent (well, if it had one). I'm quite all over the board today, so pardon me if you're getting annoyed.

Over the course of the last 18 days, I have fallen in some love with Moses. How awesome that he got to meet with God face to face. How cool to be called God's friend!! And I just hate it that he didn't get to go into the Promised Land. For crying out LOUD, he dealt with those whiny Israelites for 40 years just to get them there.....and then all he got to do was look at the view from a mountaintop?

Although Moses and I have developed a bond, I am far more enthralled with Moses' God. Over and over He shows love to the Israelites...and over and over they reject Him. As I always do when I'm reading, I put myself in the Israelite's shoes (or sandals?). I get so frustrated with them, but I'm certain I would be right along with them, fashioning my own handmade idols and worshiping all sorts of false gods. I'm just amazed at the persistence God exhibits on their behalf. His love is relentless!

And as cool as it is that Moses had such an intimate relationship with God..we are invited to an even closer relationship. WE ARE GOD's DWELLING PLACE.

Moses et al had to cart around the tabernacle from place to place....and offer up all kinds of sacrifices before they could be in God's presence. Yet Emmanuel....God with us. Christ came to this earth and lived among us, so that He could be THE one and only sacrifice for our sins. He died on that cruel cross and rose again victoriously so that the veil was torn and we could intimately fellowship with God every single moment of our lives. No priest stands between us. No curtain that we cannot cross. No more sacrifices. Only Jesus...

And speaking of Jesus: He is the only reason I can do ANYTHING non-self-destructive for 18 days straight and counting.....Praise the Lord.

By the way - I think this post could win a "most random award.."

Bible in 90 Days updates and such

2010-01-11T17:30:00.001-08:00

I'm on Day 11 of the Bible in 90 days.....and still plugging along. I have been excited to wake up each morning to spend time in God's Word (with The Word), and I've found that the Lord has spoken to me daily.....even in the book of Numbers. Go figure. Who knew he doesn't just appear in Psalms and the New Testament!?

So here is today's SOAP on my reading:

Scripture: Numbers 16:37-38a

"Tell Eleazar, son of Aaron, the priest, to take the censers out of the smoldering remains and scatter the coals some distance away, for the censers are holy -
the censers of the men who sinned at the cost of their lives......"

Observation:

Korah and his companions sinned at the cost of their lives! God opened up the earth to literally swallow them whole because they insisted on "having their own way". Isn't that the root of all our sin......the persistance to just have things done...or do things...our own way?
Although we may not die an earthly death when we commit sin, we can be assured that a little piece of our abundant life shrivels up and dies. It is reality: sin = death. Spending enough time wallowing in our own self-willed flesh kills us every time.
My heart aches and my stomach hurts as I am convicted of this fact in my own life. Our choices can be deadly if they aren't founded in the wisdom of God's living word.

Application:

Note to self: do not take things into my own hands.....
Note to self: Trust that God's way is better than mine: every single time. There is not that "one time" that I have it right all on my own.
Note to self: Revere God as the Author of Life; the Creator - the MasterMind of the Universe. He deserves our utmost respect. ("The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
Note to self: Don't act like Korah.

Prayer:

Lord, I look up to the heavens, and I acknowledge Who created this universe. If I cannot trust Your ways above my own, then I am in sad shape.....because who better to listen to than the One who knows all things? Forgive me for asserting my own will so deliberately and foolishly. Thank You for Jesus....because without Him, I would surely suffer the same fate as Korah.
Thank You for providing the perfect sacrifice. It pains me to even imagine how small I make You in my mind. Open my eyes so that I can see You everywhere....hear You everywhere....and follow You everywhere.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Bible in 90 Days - Post #2

2010-01-05T09:38:00.001-08:00

So I am on Day 5 in my Bible in 90 Days reading. For this Type A girl who loves structure, I am in love with this new adventure. I especially love checking the box each day after I have completed my reading.

However, completing the task is not the only thing I am enjoying about this. Each morning, I am spending time with the God of Creation....the Author of the Word...and that is the coolest. I have done bible studies for the last 15+ years, but this is truly the first time that I have read scripture in a structure set up to take me through the whole bible. Needless to say, I have looked forward to hearing what God has to say to me each morning!

It's virtually impossible for me to post every day, so although I won't have a post for what I have learned in each reading, I will blog about my observations at least 3 times a week.

This morning's stand out scripture was Exodus 3:7-8:

"The LORD said, 'I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.
So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites.'"

Observation:

The Lord cares. He cared about the misery of the Israelites' slavery, and He cares today about our own imprisonments. Whether they be physical or emotional.....externally or interally afflicted - the Lord cares. And just as He came down to rescue the Israelites from the hands of the Egyptians, He sent Jesus in the form of a man to rescue us from our slave drivers.
The promised land of the Israelites was physical land; whereas our promised lands are spiritual.....but oh, the joys of walking with the Lord in our good and spacious land: land that flows with milk and honey, peace and joy, comfort and love.
As we trust in the Lord daily and learn from Him.....we little by little drive out the Canaanites, the Hittites and the Amorites from living on our inherited promised lands. These "-ites" are different for all of us...but they are enemies, soul-terrorists, anything that stands on our souls to keep us from taking hold of the best God has for us.

Application:

Today, I will curl up on the lap of Jesus, and rest in His care. I will trust that the promised land He holds out to me is better than living in slavery to my sin.

Prayer:

Father God, You are an All-consuming fire. Set my heart ablaze for Your Truth. God of Heaven, You heard the cry of the Israelites and You had great compassion for them. Help me to see and believe with all my heart that You rise up to show compassion for me. Go before me today and destroy the enemy. Get them off of my land and lead me on into Truth. Thank You, Jesus!

Bible in 90 Days: Post #1

2010-01-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

I cannot even tell you how excited I am for the next 90 days. I am praying that God just pours out His blessing over us as we journey through His Word!

I am adopting the SOAP method of bible study for the next three months, and if you are wondering what that is.....I've stolen the idea from Amy at Mom'sToolBox.

Scripture: Genesis 21:1

"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what He had promised."

Observation:

The Lord is faithful to His promises. His promises to me (and you!) are too numerous to recount every single one. He promises us a way out of temptation; He promises to never leave us or forsake us; He promises that our minds cannot even conceive what He'll do with a life surrendered to Him; and He promises to supply every last one of our needs.
May I victoriously proclaim, "Now the Lord was gracious to Amy as He had said, and the Lord did for Amy what He had promised."

Application:

I shall BELIEVE! I will believe Him for His promised escape from temptation. I will believe that He is the only true satisfaction. I will believe that obedience to Him is rewarding, and I will believe that life under His Lordship is the greatest adventure. I will lean on His understanding as opposed to my own, and I will believe that He loves me unconditionally. I will believe that His blood was enough to cleanse me of sin, and I will believe that I don't have to work for righteousness. It is our right as God's children to know Him intimately and believe Him.

Prayer:

Gracious Father, fill my heart with faith in You. In the hollow, empty places of my soul, fill me up with Your satisfying presence. Swell my heart with belief in You. Let it be true of me when I say, "I'm BELIEVING God!!" I want to know the joy and peace found in believing You. Thank You for your faithfulness. You are so trustworthy, Jesus.

Reading the Bible in 90 Days - are YOU in??

2009-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Read the Bible in 90 days?

Why? Am I a glutton for punishment? Am I an overachiever?

I’m reading the bible in 90 days because it’s going to be my medicine, my food, and the strength I need to get 2010 off to a great start. I need me some Jesus more than I need my next breath…..and committing to an intensive reading program is way to keep me accountable.

2009 has been an upheaval of a year for me, and now I need a detox. My mind needs healing; my soul needs scrubbing; and my spirit needs to be rejuvenated. From the outside, my life has been fine. I have a beautiful, God-fearing family, a loving husband, a happy-healthy-precocious 4 year old, and a wonderful 16-year old stepdaughter (who I adore). I also started a new business (Scentsy); became a Partner at my “real job”; and I have super friends.

...But the inside of me has been in turmoil all year. As you’ve seen in earlier posts, I’m in that Egyptian desert…..complaining about the manna, circling around like an Israelite, wondering why things are not going the way I want them to go. Hmmm….could it be that I’m as stubborn as those silly Isrealites? Oh yes, yes indeed.

Posting my vulnerability is not so easy for me. As a woman who believes she is called to write for the glory of God…and to teach others about Him…it’s more than difficult for me to put my shortcomings and struggles on paper (or, I guess…online(!) for all the world to see). But honesty is where it starts, right? I’m totally feeling trepidation as I continue to type here….but I could not be a testament to God’s grace if I lived a façade.

The decision to read through God’s Word in 90 days is ICU for me. It is a commitment to bury myself in scripture, and therein find my Savior.

I’m totally geared up for this. Anyone want to join me?

Click here to read all about it: I’m Reading through the Bible in 90 Days

Consistently Inconsistent

2009-12-21T13:17:00.000-08:00

I think the most consistent thing about my blog is its inconsistency. Grrr..

Every morning, I faithfully read a handful of my personal much-loved blogs. And each day, I make a mental note that I need to write a new blog post. The effort generally does not go past the mental note part. However, there are good streaks of time where I post two or three a week….until the chaos of my job takes over.

Is it too early to make a New Year’s resolution? If not, then I want to officially make one now: 3 blog posts per week in 2010. You all heard it right here. Just be gracious when I’m lagging behind come May (or February, whichever comes first).

2010 blog posts will include my Journey Through the Bible in 90 days, along with Amy at Mom’s Tool Box. I am beyond excited about this. I love structure and planned reading programs…..but even more so….I love the word of God. I love digging deep into scripture and finding out what God has for me to find. It's my prayer that these posts will bless your life and encourage you to dive into the Bible for yourself.

I’m also going to keep everyone posted on the Sunday night cooking expos that I have with my neighbor Kathryn (who in the future will be referred to as NK (Neighbor Kathryn). This distinguishes her from Daughter Kathryn. Sunday night cooking expos should not be confused with any expert cooking blogs. NK and I are amateurs at best. For the last year, we have cooked dinner on Sunday evenings together…and the comic relief we have provided for our husbands is star-quality blog material. Sadly, they have not experienced nearly as much good food as they have laughs. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Hopefully, my love of structure will help me in my efforts to consistently post. Anyone out there willing to help me be accountable in this??

Just Stuff...

2009-11-24T08:07:00.001-08:00

There is absolutely nothing going on in my head of which to write. So I have committed dead-head bloggy-ness with a list of only remotely interesting links and things:

I have bragged about this jewelry before, but I am totally in love with it. My good friend, Kimberly sells it - - and I’ve already accomplished 72% of my Christmas shopping on her website: www.stelladot.com/kimberlyjohnson

My niece Kristi sent me flowers yesterday because I am so special! Actually, she sent me flowers because I made Director with Scentsy (www.smellgoodie.scentsy.us). It’s kind of funny because I have a full-time job, which I love….but I started selling Scentsy in April of this year as a hobby. I am bowled over by the fact that now I have a team of nearly thirty people, and I am a DIRECTOR. It makes me smile just thinking about it…..not to mention, my house always smells good, and I have a nice amount of extra cash each month. Not a shabby deal I must say.

I think I may have a split personality (oh, not really!) because I talk all day long with Ph.D. economists about their careers, etc., and then I come home and talk to women about wickless candles. What can I say? I’m diversified.

This morning, I took Luke through the drive-thru at McDonald’s because someone forgot to pack his breakfast. He complimented the drive-thru lady for using her manners, so she sang a song to him. It was kind of sweet.

Thanksgiving…..so much to be thankful for….and that is what I’m going to continually remind myself of as we travel 9+ hours to Oklahoma tomorrow. Thankfully, we have the DVD player for Luke, and Kathryn will have her iPod.
One of my favorite reasons for thankfulness this year is that my mother-in-law is giving me her first set china. It’s the set that Larry’s father sent to her when he was in the Korean War. I never registered for China (gasp!), so this is over the top exciting (and precious) to me. I could go on and on about how much I love my mother-in-law….

Oh! One more thing! Did you know my Luke can shoot spider webs out of his…..? Yes, yes, he can. He told me all about it….

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

RT (Re-Tweet) - 37 Days of Kindness

2009-11-18T08:06:00.000-08:00

I get SO frustrated this time every year. Namely because buying presents for people and stressing out over the perfect gift is so NOT what Christmas is all about. My husband knows the tension is coming as I pull out the Christmas gift spreadsheet and start obsessing. Come the middle of November, my blood starts to boil and my mind becomes overwhelmed at the “task” ahead. Fighting the rush and the crowds to find ultimate gifts for friends and family is just not enjoyable to me. For the past few years I have done a lot of my shopping online, but even with that convenience, the buying-spending-hunting-stressing saga that defines the Christmas season is just plain ugliness to me.

This morning, I read Lysa Terkeurst’s blog post: 37 Days of Kindness. This was a timely post, and Lysa has inspired me to step away from the “rush” and the “frustration” and invest the next 37 days in loving people in honor of Jesus’ birthday.

I will not be able to stop the retail frenzy or holiday marketing efforts designed to encourage a season of spending. Neither can I change the expectations of gift-recipients in my own household; but I can change my own attitude….and Jesus can change my heart.

What better way to spend the next 37 days than to focus on showing love and kindness to other people. Maybe I buy someone a Starbucks….or maybe I buy a meal for a friend….or perhaps I simply make a point to call someone I haven’t called in a long time, just to let them know I’m thinking of them.

Who knows exactly….but I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how it’s shaping up.

May Jesus be the ONLY one to glory in this….may this be my birthday present to Him this Christmas!

Waiting.....for what?

2009-11-17T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have been waiting.

For what, I’m unsure.

There has been a little (or a big) something that God and I have been working on weeding out of my life for the last three years. This is something that God has explicitly told me time and again NEEDS TO GO. So why, you ask, am I still holding on to it?

Because I’m waiting! I’m waiting for the day it will become easier to let go of this. I’m waiting for the perfect day in which there will be no craving or longing for this particular habit. And I’m waiting for the day when He just snatches it from me, and I am gloriously willing to be obedient.

Ha! And the joke is on me. Because waiting is just a state of limbo to which Satan has lured me. He has blinded me with lies of how “one day, I’ll wake up with the self-control to do this……but it doesn’t have to be today.”

This “thing” has been choking me for three years, people…..and you would think that I would willingly and humbly lay it down. Especially since I am a woman who loves God, a woman who desires God’s glory to be evident in her, and a woman who is serious about bible study!

Oh! But it’s not so easy to let go of that "thing" which provides so much comfort! This “thing” is a pleasure; it’s a friend; it’s enjoyable; and yes, it’s an idol. I have acquiesced to Satan’s lies of how I cannot live with out it because life would be less endurable. But is life just something we “endure”? What a bold-faced lie! Yes, the enemy has stood on my inheritance for years - taunting me with the threat of hopelessness of ever reaching the promised land.

…..and then Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

Do I have to wait for this abundant life? Will there ever be a perfect day to surrender? No, for goodness sake – NO to both questions! Because I am a child of God (an heiress!), my rightful state of existence is a joyful, free life. I can choose to believe God will satisfy me even when I’m aching for a temporal fix. I can fall on my face and cry out to Him for fulfillment; for help; for deliverance. When I do this, He will faithfully provide.

I have been missing God’s best for me as I have danced with the lies of the enemy. However, I should tarry no longer…..his best is there for me today. And if I kid myself in saying, “I’ll wait for that perfect day when_____,” then, well, I’m just missing the best.

Dry and Tasteless

2009-11-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on a Friday that I would be doing a 30 day blog series on Being Free.
Since you have yet to see Day One of this series, suffice it to say that I have been in a dry spell.

If I had not been reading Jennifer Rothschild's Self Talk Soul Talk, I would be calling myself a crazy fool for talking about a blog series I had yet to write. I guess I thought that if I promised the internet that I would be posting this - it would magically appear at my fingertips.

But oh no. Quite the opposite. I have learned the lesson that before I commit to a series - I should at least write it first. Some would call that common sense......but procrastinators and Type A frustrated perfectionists like myself call that a normal learning process. Fail First....then learn from the mistake.

My dry spell has been ugly......I'm in a "season" right now where for the last three weeks, I have existed on a vegetarian spiritual diet (i.e. no scriptural meat). I have gone through the motions, and now I'm tired of it. Who do I think I'm fooling? God knows He has gotten only leftovers from me. My heart has been hard, and when my alarm goes off in the morning.....instead of spending time with Him - I've hit snooze over and over again. The sad thing is, I am the one who suffers from this......not God. Yes, He misses that time because He quite enjoys it, too.....but I am the one who gets dehydrated...and joy-less.....and ugly.

Can anyone else identify with me? I know that we all can't be "on" all the time.....but I feel like such an Israelite. I know the wonders God has done in my life; I know the JOY of doing daily life with Him.....yet, I so quickly forget and convince myself that I can do this thing on my own.

Please, please leave me your comments.......tell me you know what I mean.....

Amy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2009-10-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

So I don’t think I’m generally a negative person (at least I hope not)….but this morning as been hellacious. It’s not like I had a wreck, or got a flat tire, or even woke up an hour late (because those would be events worth my dramatic reactions). No, I just simply:

*didn't have my quiet time (a much needed practice for my sanity).

*left the house without my scarf (that was a crucial element to my outfit).

*walked out of the house with straight hair….and stepped into Houston Humidity. My hair immediately sprung into a frizzy, wavy mop…much to my chagrin.

*left the house without Luke’s football (which was a crucial element to his outfit….as he is a football player for Halloween…and today is trick-or-treating at preschool.)

*Larry spilled coffee all over the car.

*After dropping Luke off at school, I stopped at my usual convenience store to make my usual coffee-mixed-with-cappuccino - - only they didn’t have the usual cappuccino. I sucked this up and….

*went to the next convenience store, which ALSO did not have cappuccino mix. However, before I found this out….

*I slipped on their newly mopped tile.

*backed out and ran over a curb (minimal frustration….this is not an unusual occurrence for me).

*walked into the office and found an email from a client saying they owed me $13,000 less than our invoice reflects. Nice.

So today, I truly need to find the JOY in all of this. For the past hour, I have been telling myself over and over to change my attitude. This is even harder to do since I know I have a major case of PMS today (or so Larry tells me.)

In the big scheme of things, I can laugh about the trauma caused by leaving my scarf at home (I’m really not that vain).

I can laugh about my hair….because I just pulled it up into a ponytail. Take that, humidity.

I can shrug off the fact that I sent my son to school in an incomplete costume. I’m sure his teachers are actually thankful we forgot the football.

Larry cleaned up his coffee….so that wasn’t really my problem.

I did get my coffee on the third try, so I can smile at the obstacles this addict had to overcome to get her fix.

At least I know the convenience store was “clean”…..that’s stretching the positive outlook a bit….but I’m trying!

And I can deal with the client who wants to short me on the invoice. I am thankful I even have clients that pay their invoices!

But taking a trip to Australia would be nice.

For the love (or dread) of Halloween

2009-10-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could call myself a Halloween fanatic. But I just can’t. I even have trouble capitalizing the H in Halloween…because I just don’t get the hoopla.
A co-worker of mine told me yesterday that it was her favorite holiday. I cringed. Really?? Is it really an official holiday? How embarrassing.

I have never cared for dressing up in silly costumes and going to parties. I just think it’s childish. And while I know there are many adults who enjoy this (and I certainly don’t judge)…..I’m just not one of them. Although I wouldn’t mind going to a Halloween party to see everyone else’s cute costumes, I would not partake in the costume-wearing festivities.

Is there such thing as a Halloween Grinch? If so – count me as a follower. I’m even the only one on my typical suburban Wisteria-Lane-Like street who has not decorated her yard in all things Ghoulish, Ghastly or Pumpkin-loving. (sigh) I truly have no desire.

This year is a bit different: Luke is nearly four years old…so he knows what Halloween is. He even has three (yes, three) costumes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not contradicting myself. Everyone knows a mom has to buy her child a costume for trick-or-treating! We initially bought him a Superman costume, which ended up being too small once we got home with it. As every good Halloween mega-store has a no-return policy, we were stuck with it. He doesn’t know the difference: he still jaunts around in that costume with sleeves that are too short. As long as the cape is attached properly – he’s good to go.

The second costume is my favorite. He’s an OU football player, complete with mini-shoulder pads and official helmet. I must upload a picture at some point; he’s irresistible.
And he’ll assuredly be a “hit” when we trick-or-treat at the homes in our neighborhood. Sooner fans living in Houston are not a majority living in the land of Longhorns and Aggies. I will have to check his candy extra closely to make sure evil neighbors didn’t put needles in his Reese’s Cups.

And Luke’s third costume is Bumblebee the Transformer. I’m about as big a fan of Transformers as I am of Halloween. Those things are Scary!! My grandmother bought him this costume when we were in Oklahoma over the weekend……because everyone knows Great-Grandmothers are the best people in the world. I was rather surprised she even knew what a Transformer was…..but I digress.

Since we are scheduled to attend a bazillion Halloween festivals/carnivals this weekend, I guess he will have a chance to wear each one.

My poor child. Hopefully my attitude about this silly October “event” will change (for the better?) before he is old enough to resent it. I’ll still go through the motions of doing all the candy-buying and costume-purchasing….but please, God, please don’t ever let him expect me to put cemetery headstones in my front yard.

Let's Get Personal

2009-10-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

I saw this little questionnaire on Baby Bangs this morning, so I’m taking the cheap way out and using it myself. I am totally in a blog rut.

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while your blogging?

Coffee and pretzels. Or dried fruit. Or kit-kats. Or carrots. Lay's Cheddar Cheese Baked Lay's are also good.

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without?

Aside from the obvious answers like my husband and my children – I would have to say life would be empty without books. I even have to have a book to fall asleep. We went on a trip to Dallas last year, and I forgot to bring along a book for the road. Oh my word - you would have thought I was a drug addict, and I forgot my needle. It was quite pathetic….and actually opened my eyes to what a book-junkie I truly am. Needless to say – I did enjoy the conversation with my family during that 4-hour drive, and I was much more ‘present’ without a book.

3. Beach, Mountains, or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?

The beach. Most definitely – the beach. Although, if I lived on a beach, I would most certainly have a vacation home in the cold mountains so that I could utilize my fall/winter wardrobe.

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?

Mopping. I could go all my life without using a mop….and I would not be sad about it.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?

People call me high maintenance….but I really don’t mean to be. In all sincerity, I don’t think I am difficult or demanding or anything that I associate with high maintenance. However, after years of being told I am, I have to wonder……

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying home with the fam?

I much prefer hanging out with close friends and family. I can do the occasional party, but it’s certainly not high on my agenda.

7. What's your all time favorite movie?

I have no deep answer for this. I love Gone With the Wind, Devil Wears Prada and You’ve Got Mail.

8. Do you sleep in your make-up or remove it like a good little girl every night?

It depends. I am not a stickler for a nighttime make-up removal ritual. If I have worked out during the evening, I shower before bed (and hence, my face gets washed). Sometimes I just plain go to bed with a dirty face….and I’m cool with that.

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn?

What is it?I want to learn to knit. I would LOVE to learn to knit. I took classes about four years ago….thinking I would develop a new hobby. After spending over an hour with me on the basics, the teacher told me I wasn’t picking it up very well. For a perfectionist, those words are poisonous. I haven’t picked it up since. Maybe when Luke graduates from high school in 14 years, I will try again.

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?

baking chocolate sheet cake and making burritos. This is strange because I’m a clustered mess in the kitchen….and it’s just odd that every time I make these two particular foods – people like them.

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?

His dimples, his laugh, and his legs.

12. What is something you love to smell?

My husband’s Very Sexy cologne…..and Lemon body wash from Bath and Body Works.

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.

oooohh…..I’m not good at returning calls. I talk on the phone ALL DAY at work….and it’s not my favorite thing to do when I get home. And then it spirials into a guilt thing. I know I should call you back…but I don’t want to go through the apology process…so I put it off some more…and then the guilt grows because it’s been over a week now…..and the cycle starts again. Maybe I need therapy for this?

14. When you have extra money, what's the first thing you think to do with it?

Buy a new hand-bag or shoes…or jewelry…or a new outfit…

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?

It depends on how funny it is. I laughed so hard with my family this weekend over Luke’s sign language. Our good friend, Marjorie (Luke’s Grandma Day) taught him how to say “I love you” in sign language. When I asked him to show my mom and dad, he flipped everyone off…he couldn’t get his fingers in the right position…and every time he tried, the middle finger just kept popping up. We belly laughed for at least six good long minutes.

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Urban Outfitters, Banana Republic and Gap (although Gap has been disappointing the last two spring/summer seasons); I also love Anthropologie sales. For Luke – my favorite place is Baby Gap.

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time?

Learn to play tennis really well. I took tennis lessons right after Luke was born – but to play in league play, you either have to be a stay-at-home mom (which I’m not) or be willing to dedicate one night a week. Since I’m already over-committed during the week…..this is something I will hopefully pick back up at the same time I start knitting.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?

What is the global definition of big spender? I'm not exactly weekly (or yearly!) shopping on Rodeo Drive...but I do like to shop....quite a bit. I'm that person that salesmen/saleswomen love to see coming.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time?

Meredith Grey – Grey’s Anatomy. I know, I’m shallow.

20. Would you want to be famous?

My first reaction is “absolutely, yes!” But I’m not so sure. All of us have a desire to belong and be accepted…..but I suppose that if we get that need met with family and close friend-relationships, we don’t have a longing to be “known” to the world. Having said that, it would be nice the Hollywood “IT” girl….for maybe a month. Think of all the free clothes and handbags...and your own personal stylist!

I would love to hear your answers…..!

Firefighter Luke

2009-10-19T14:17:00.000-07:00

This month is Fire Safety Month; and last week at school, Luke was learning about the letter “F”. So naturally, last week Luke learned all about firefighters.

Friday afternoon he pranced into my bedroom, wearing nothing but a fireman’s helmet....

“Mommy! Guess what? I have my very own hose!”

Luckily, he did not spray said urinal hose all over the place.

Crazy. Insane. Impractical

2009-10-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

So my SheSpeaks team decided to blog about something crazy. Usually, I could whip something up about crazy....but for some reason, the creative juices are NOT flowing. Instead of being Miss Original, I had some help from my two greatest fans (my husband and son) and dictionary.com.

Sadly, you will see no evidence here of the aforementioned fans' assistance.....because freaking crazy blogger would not upload my pics. The issue could have very likely been of the crazy computer operator.....but for the sake of crazy, I always prefer to place the blame elsewhere.

First of all, I could not decide if I wanted to write about my crazy work life, my crazy aunt, the top ten crazy dumb things I have done (although that would be hard to pick!), or the songs I like with the word crazy in the title. Hello, Aerosmith, you would most certainly make that list since I sang Crazy my entire junior year in high school.

Since the word "crazy" has roughly five-ish definitions and because I am seriously lacking in the witty, critical thinking department this evening, I have decided to give real-Amy-life examples of each definition. Here goes.....

(1) mentally deranged; demented; insane. yeesh....I can't really call names here because that would be so inappropriate. But I can say that I have been associated with some mentally messed up people in my life. Have I been one of those people? At times, yes.....though I loathe to admit it. When I was neck deep in bulimia, I lived in a demented state. Everything revolved around food and all the things that should have been priorities in my life fell into a distant 10th+ place. So without poking fun and calling others crazy, I call a spade a spade. During those eleven l-o-n-g years of my life, I was insane. sick. hopeless. and yes, crazy.

(2) senseless; impractical; totally unsound: a crazy scheme. Some ladies here in the south would call wearing white after Labor Day a senseless and utterly unsound behavior. I grew up with a mother who put our white Mary Janes on the top shelf of the closet once September rolled around, so I know these beliefs run deep. However, these die-hard Southern fashionistas apparently don't read Vogue. It is very clear that there is such thing as winter white, and I (gasp) wore a pair of said winter white jeans to the theater on Sunday afternoon. Ignoring the September issue of Vogue is something I would refer to as "impractical".....and yes, crazy.

(3) Intensely enthusiastic; passionately excited. This one is easy breezy. I don't even have to think hard for this example. We are passionate and excitedly-enthusiastic about OU football. My husband Larry and I both grew up in Oklahoma and have deep OU roots. There is no time of year like football time of year, and Saturdays in this household revolve around "What time do the Sooners play?" from September to January. We are also especially competitive around here, so any whoops for other teams will not be tolerated (and they will be promptly deleted from the comment section.) Well, we aren't that ugly about it.....but yes, we are crazy about the Sooners.

(4) Very enamored or infatuated. I am totally head-over-heels crazy about my husband. My Larry is a warm, caring, compassionate, strong, wise and handsome man. Truth being told, the man was crazy to love me to begin with (refer to the crazy-insane bulimic in #1). Yet through every trial (major and minor), he is loyal and understanding, and he has unbelievable strength. I love that he is a leader in our church, that he supports me in this crazy dream of writing and speaking and that he is the best daddy in the world. He is my dream come true.....and I am oh-so-crazy about him.

(5a) unusual; bizarre. I have an aunt who thinks she sees things. She has even had premonitions before about people dying and various other catastrophes. I'm sure if you ask her, she'll tell you all about it. Enough said on this: I don't want her to think ill of me....and then have a dream that I die. Stefanie, I know you read this....don't tell your mother I mentioned her. :)

(6) I don't have super examples for #6. Actually, I don't have any examples for #6 because I have never heard of anything called crazy that is "weak, or falling into pieces"??

So here is a final (very random) list of things I consider crazy:

I think it's crazy that my nearly-4 year old likes to watch the Thriller and Beat It videos. I won't go into a dissertation of why I DESPISE this; suffice it to say that his 16 year old sister was staying home with him on the day Michael Jackson died. I'm pretty sure they watched CNN all day long....and shortly thereafter started downloading various MJ videos on iTunes. Some things, a mother just cannot control.

It's crazy that I so desperately want to start wearing my fall wardrobe.....but since I live in Houston, that won't happen until mid-November. Agh.

I also find it crazy that I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams with this life that I live. Not that my husband and I are among the mega-rich....or that we have no problems.....and not because of any material things.

But because the great love of Christ has so graciously....so mercifully....ACCEPTED us just as we are.....It's just plain crazy. bizarre. senseless. impractical.

HE is C-R-A-Z-Y about me!!

Click over to the The Other Mama for more crazy posts.

Unexpected Blessings

2009-10-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

I had one of the best weekends of my entire life, and it's all because of little unexpected blessings.

I am a routine kind of girl. I like to be in control, and I operate on a schedule. It's not uncommon for my family and friends to use the word obsessive or anal when referring to my behavior.

I received two calls on Friday: both inviting me to do things that I had neither planned nor necessarily thought I would enjoy. However, I agreed to both (which assuredly was through divine inspiration).

So Friday evening, Larry, Luke and I loaded into the car and went to our friend Marjorie's (Grandma Day's) for dinner. Going to Marjorie's house is not out of the ordinary. She and Luke adore each other, and she has watched him and cared for him often through the last three years. At least twice a month, Marjorie will keep Luke on a Friday evening so that Larry and I can have "date" night. She is 81 years old and has to be the most spry "old" lady I have ever seen. Her daughter, Bonnie (Luke calls her Aunt Bunny) has been visiting from Boston for the last couple of weeks. So there we were, going to a little dinner party....and Bonnie was cooking dinner.

You're probably thinking what a stick in the mud I am for not appreciating our invite. It's not that I'm snotty or antisocial; I had a L-O-N-G week at work, and I just did not want to spend my Friday evening anywhere other than in my own living room.

We got there at 6 o'clock, which is when Marjorie told us dinner would be ready. It's a rare occasion that we eat later than 6:30-7:00pm, so needless to say, I was hungry. Before you laugh, read my post on favorite restaurants: I'm that same person who loves to eat at Luby's with the senior citizens.

When we got there, dinner was not ready; Bonnie was not even there! She was apparently "on her way". Oh how kind-of-no-REALLY frustrated I was. Ugh. My mind just turned from a tad bit "I don't want to be here" to "I cannot believe I'm here; I'm hungry; there is no food in sight; why am I spending my Friday night doing what I don't want to do??"

Finally, about 7 o'clock, Bonnie arrives. It's about time, lady. But here's where the blessing begins (and my bad attitude changed): she brought stuff to make homemade pizza! We had a blast in the kitchen (all five of us). Bonnie spread out the dough, I chopped onions, Larry did something, and even Luke got to spread the tomato sauce and cheese on the pizza. After the pizza was in the oven, we popped open a bottle of wine and voila: homemade fun on a Friday night. I even felt a bit like I was under the Tuscan sun.

That may not sound like a huge blessing to you; but God gave me a glimpse in those moments that life is all about relationship. I'm so often in a go-here-go-there, what's on my calendar next attitude, that I MISS these little things.

If I had turned down that invitation because it was too spur of the moment (and not something I had control of....), I would have missed out. After getting to know Bonnie, I love that woman. I love that she's not afraid to speak her mind; I love that she is honest and transparent and totally not ashamed to talk about the "issues" of life. I am grateful that we got to share a bottle of wine, homemade pizza and a bit of our hearts together on a Friday evening.

My second "out-of-the-box" blessing this weekend came in the form of a musical on Sunday afternoon. I am not artsy, and I have never understood why people think Broadway is so entertaining. I have to admit, I have always believed it was a little silly. Until. today.

My girlfriend called me on Friday to ask if I would join her for the matinee of Meet Me in St. Louis this afternoon. I have NO clue why I agreed because I truly would have rather sat at home on a stack of thumb tacks. As soon as I told her I "would love to go..", I got off the phone and cried out loudly, "Why??!! Why did I say that?!"

I griped about it all weekend. Again, I'm not a sour puss (not all the time anyway), but I love my Sunday afternoons hanging out with my family. I don't readily give that up. That is, until someone calls me and asks me to join them at the matinee. Geez, what was I thinking?

11 o'clock this morning rolls around and they pick me up. From the second I got into the car, I was transported to girlfriend time. I literally had a blast! We laughed and cried and had flat out fun.
I fell in love with musicals today; and would you believe, I even downloaded the original broadway performance of Meet Me in St. Louis on my iPhone as soon as left the theater. I think that Sunday afternoons at the theater could be a regular occurance in my future.

So again, a blessing that just dropped from the sky and hit me on my head like a ton of bricks. Yet another life lesson from the Lord about spending time with people, learning about them, being open to share their form of entertainment (which might not be my own idea of fun).

I had a danged good weekend.....and I've been singing Skip to my Lou all morning....

Favorite TV Shows! I LOVE Derek Shepherd

2009-10-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

I don't just like TV. There has to be a word between like and love that describes my affinity for the televison. I am fond, very fond of the television.

TV provided some great bonding memories for my sisters and me: we loved old school Brady Bunch episodes, Saturday morning Saved by the Bell, and 90210 when it was not new and improved.

In my college days, Dawson’s Creek was the must-see every Thursday. This was way before DVR entered the picture, so if you missed a Thursday, you had to find a friend who recorded it on VHS. Hopefully, that friend had stayed home to record so that they cut out the commercials.

Missy at It’s Almost Naptime noted in her post that everyone has TV weaknesses. I have to agree, especially because my favorite shows are not on PBS. I am so far away from the woman who grows her family’s food in her garden and makes everything from scratch (with no trans fats or preservatives). I am also not the woman who refuses to allow her children some TV time. Luke totally knows that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on from 6:30-7:00am every morning.
He also knows that if it is a Saturday morning, he gets to have his breakfast on a TV tray and watch Disney Channel while he dines on instant oatmeal or homemade waffles. Instant oatmeal on the days that Daddy is golfing (which is most Saturdays); homemade waffles when Daddy is at home. Because yes, Daddy is the maker of the waffle.

There will be many reasons to judge me when you read my list of favorites. For crying out loud, I love Sex and the City. I know it’s not a wholesome television show. But the fashion, people!!

Grey’s Anatomy: I heart McDreamy. One of my favorite things to do when Kathryn (my 16-yr old stepdaughter) is at our house for the weekend is to watch Grey’s. Sometimes I purposely save my episodes so we can watch them together. Sorry, Kathryn; I couldn’t resist watching last night’s episode. I will re-watch with you next week.

Desperate Housewives: here is your first opportunity for judgment; and I agree, I deserve it. Larry and I started watching this during its first season, and we have hung on ever since. We went to LA a few years ago to Universal Studios, and I was in awe as we drove down the actual Wisteria Lane. Loved it. Every Sunday night about 9:00pm when Luke is all squared away in bed, you can find us watching the latest DH.

The Bachelor/The Bachelorette: this show is not the most admirable. Believe me, sometimes when I’m on pins and needles to watch the next episode, I try to self-psychoanalyze. Why? This show is dumb. This show is nauseating. Nonetheless, I’m watching. And then on Tuesdays (after the show airs on Mondays), I’m logging onto I Hate Green Beans to catch Lincee's blog about the episode. I think I have a problem.

I am not one of these people who have a “show” for every night of the week. I don’t watch The Office (though I wish I had started from the beginning). I’m too OCD to go back and start so late in the game. I don’t watch America’s Top Model or Project Runway or anything cool like that.
We are mega-fans of American Idol…..so if that was in season, I would have been obliged to write an essay on my love for the show. Since it is not in season, “out of sight, out of mind” comes into play.
One of my very good friends gets uber-excited when the new fall shows come out in September. I tried to get into that this year. I even circled new shows in my Entertainment Weekly and set my DVR to record them. But then, I couldn’t keep up. I just don’t have hours and hours to waste in front of the television. I guess I could argue quality over quantity or something like that to make up for my poor choices of what I watch when I watch. That might not even make sense to you, because after reading that last sentence, I am having a hard time understanding what I was trying to say. That is beauty of having no editor.

What are your favorites? Tell me, I’m dying to know if you worried all last season whether or not Meredith and Derek would finally get together. Are you a closet Desperate Housewives-watcher? Or are you thinking “Oh my word, Amy needs to read Philippians 4:8?” Not that I would disagree…..

I have missed you.....

2009-10-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

Oh my. I have not been on my blog in like two whole weeks.

You know, it’s not like I am a big-time daily blogger like The Other Mama or Big Mama or Boo Mama….but when I’ve not posted in fourteen days, I feel out of the loop. Like I’m missing an earring or something. Or maybe that isn’t a great example.

Nonetheless, I have no eloquent, awe-inspiring words to share today. I just wanted to post to feel like my bloggy spirit has been revived.

A quick run-down of my life for the past two weeks will give you an indication of why I have not posted recently:

I’ve been going to 4-year old birthday parties, watching OU football games, working at my real job, playing with my Scentsy job, shopping (for Halloween costumes), catching up on Grey’s Anatomy on DVR, chasing my soon-to-be 4 year-old simultaneously with all of the above, and listening to Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA.

Why, oh why do I like that song? When I find myself nodding my head like, “yeah”, I am transported to my 12-year old self. And it’s kind of embarrassing. Now Luke moves his hips like, “yeah”, and it worries me.

That sums up my life for the last couple of weeks. I’m sure all three of my readers are glad I’m back. J

Favorite Restaurants

2009-09-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

When I sat down to write this post, my first inclination was to list four-star restaurants (in a lame attempt to appear much “finer” in my dining preferences).
But then I had to just get real with myself. While it may be perfectly true to say that The Palm and Truluck's are my favorites – those just aren't really places we frequent.

My Favorite Restaurants are (drum roll):

Baker’s Street Pub - this is a great place to just eat dinner and hang out with friends. It’s a mega-smoky atmosphere, though…..but otherwise – awesome food and great martinis. My favorite thing to order is just the plain ol’ cheeseburger. They are delicious!

BJ’s Brewhouse – 6 times out of 10, when Larry and I have a Friday evening alone, we’ll choose BJ’s. It’s just a random thing that the top two restaurants on this list have names that include “pub” and “brew house”. A beer enthusiast I am not. Our reason for loving BJ’s is pure and simple: BJ’s Favorite Pizza. Yum. Delicious. Unprecedented.

Cafe Adobe – To say that I love Mexican food is an understatement. Café Adobe is certainly one of my best favorite places for chips and queso. Although one time several years ago, Larry and I ate there one Saturday night…..and I bit into a beer bottle cap in my salad. Needless to say, I love the place so much that the incident did not deter us from future visits. Sad (and gross), but true.

Luby’s – why, you ask? Because one day, when I am old and gray, this is where my husband and I will go on dates. Oh, wait….we just did that last Friday. And no, I’m not joking. We had to be the only people under 70, but we didn’t mind. We LOVE Luby’s. I love the salad, the fish, the okra, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the hamburger steak, the green beans….and the jello with cool whip topping. Luby’s reminds me of a restaurant that serves what I would cook for my family if I cooked for my family.

Perhaps it’s also nostalgia that endears this old person place to me. When I was younger, my family always went to the mall on Saturday (hence, my love and addiction to shopping??).

On those weekly trips, we ate every Saturday evening at either Furr’s (which is now Luby’s) or Wyatt’s (which, since we grew up and quit going there, is now out of business). I’m not sure why we never ventured to other dining establishments…..but I didn’t mind. I had the same thing every weekend: child’s plate hamburger steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans and a piece of pumpkin pie (even when it was not “in season”).

When my dad would come visit me in college, we almost always found a Luby’s for dinner. And even now, when he makes a trip to Houston by himself we still go to Luby’s. If Mom is with us, we won't go. Could it be that she got burned out after years of Saturday evenings spent eating cafeteria-style macaroni and cheese and chicken fried steak?

Honorable Mention:

LC's. You will not know of this place if you have never lived in or visited Poteau, Oklahoma. However, this is where my love of crab legs and hush puppies was born. On Friday nights, they had a seafood buffet to die for. Looking back, I'm not sure if it was really that good, or if that was just the only option. The place had cracked wallpaper peeling from the ceiling and ketchup in those vintage plastic bottles - -but the food was greasy-delicious. LC died a few years ago, and I'm not even sure it's open anymore. But good stuff, I tell you. Good stuff.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Click on the link Friday Fave’s button on the sidebar to link over to Missy’s site…..

The Dreams of a Mother

2009-09-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

When Luke was little more than a heartbeat with skin, I signed up for a newsletter that sends me weekly updates on his progress.

Throughout my pregnancy, I read these with scrutiny, looking for every small bit of information on how he was growing within me. Now that he is quickly approaching 4 years old, I often find myself hitting delete before reading them. (Because really, I can see the kid now and I don’t need any child expert to tell me that at his age, his imagination is growing and he might be scared of monsters. Hello. Crawling in my bed at 3:00 am might be some indication of this.) But then again, I’m no expert.

HOWEVER.

I got this in my inbox this morning:

Hello, Amy!

Around this age, you'll start noticing that some kids are more naturally athletic than others. You might know a 3-year-old who can catch a football or kick a ball with precision while another may fumble around.

Love,
BabyCenter

“Yes! Yes!” I proclaim as I picture Luke’s perfect spiral soar across the living room. That’s Luke!

Okay, the Dalke’s are die-hard OU Sooner fans….not to mention that Luke’s uncle Bill (Larry’s brother) played for OU on national championship teams in the late 70’s. We are also over-the-top competitive, and both of us are athletes. So naturally, this is what I read when I saw this email:

Hello Amy!

Your son, Luke, is far beyond his age in terms of natural athletic ability. We have scouted him as he plays catch with his father in your living room and front yard, and we can tell he has a college uniform in his future. Although he has not even hit the small tike football field yet, he is destined to throw that ball at Memorial Stadium.

Over the next few years, you should prepare to be that annoying mother who the camera pans to in the stadium during championship games. We expect that you have this covered already.

Feed him well, keep him in good training programs, and we’ll see you in the stands!

Sincerely,
OU Recruiting

So maybe that is a daydream of mine. If my husband were to read this, he would totally be rolling his eyes. I’m just wondering, is this where the competitive stage mom is born? Yikes!

Dear Luke,

I love you, and I won’t love you any more or any less if you don a football uniform, carry a tennis racket, or a golf club. You can be on the math drill team for all I care.

I pray that my dreams for you would never surpass your own. Whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God……and if that involves me singing Boomer Sooner after you throw a touchdown pass…….that will just be the icing on the cake!!

Wake up little Amy - it's NOT about you!

2009-09-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

So I picked up Louis Giglio’s I Am Not, but I Know I AM at the airport a couple of weeks ago. I have been a Louis fan since my Passion days in college. I chose this particular book because I thought my in-flight reading may be more productive if I fed my mind with God-things instead of reading my People magazines or the latest from Danielle Steel.

Little did I know…

Oh my word! This book was awesome.

“The story already has a star, and the star is not you or me.” -page 13

What a blow to my ego! And my ego so needed to be blown.

I realized that for the past YEAR (or more, if I’m being generous), I have not allowed myself to look outside of me and my own little world. Sure, I know God is God, and I know He is much bigger than creation and so on and so forth. BUT, do I live like I truly believe this?

By the second page, I was already humbled by the reality of God’s MUCH-BIGNESS. My eyes were opened to my own MEGA-small-ness.

I will never comprehend the true greatness of our God until I sit with Him in heaven, but Mr. Giglio’s words shot straight to my heart by reminding this poor soul that it’s not all about me.

This amazing God created galaxies that are light years away……and yet I dare to doubt that He can handle my tiny issues. The shame! And yet, He knows these issues are right in front of my face and He cares!! Oh how He cares!

There are no words for the impact this book has had on my perspective. The most I can utter is “….whoa!” I’m NOT the star of this show….nor will I ever be. So why do I try so hard to gain attention? Why am I so bent on being the #1 all the time?
Hello, Amy! Humble yourself before the Mighty God….the One and Only King of kings who created things your eyes cannot even see!!

I’m just saying….

If you need a dramatic change in your perspective, you ought to pick up this book. I pray that it will knock you off your feet like it knocked me off my high horse!

And all I can say is…..”….whoa!”

What do Diet Coke, Classic Rock and a Swimming Toddler Have in Common?

2009-09-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the backyard on this fine Monday evening in Houston, Texas. My sweet Luke is swimming (asking me every 30 seconds for a band-aid....because apparently it's urgent). Yes, sure it is. But regardless, he will ask obsessively until something else captures his attention.

Larry is lounging on a chair playing Word Warp on my iPhone. This game is our new addiction, but I don't fear that he'll beat my high score so I let him play to his heart's content.

And I, on this bearable summer evening in Houston, am enjoying the calm atmosphere. Even our dog, Ranger, is not hyperactive. How I needed this night! It seems that for the past nine months, I have been in a tizzy over one thing or another (just a hint: my personality is totally Type-A-Obsessive Compulsive-must-always-be-panicked-over-something). From writing conferences to drama at my office to Scentsy parties to birthday parties and church mission outreaches, I have not slowed down. Peace has been like a pipe dream since the clock rolled to January 1, 2009.

So tonight, I don't want to run this quiet family time with many bloggy words. From now until Luke's head hits the pillow 8:30 (ish), my plan is to drink Diet Coke, give my husband helpful hints for Word Warp (yes, p-a-l-l-i-d is a word), and listen to classic rock on the radio. Classic rock is so not my choice, but in order to keep the unselfish atmosphere going, I'll endure.

And just in case you're worried, Jesus and I are dealing with this peace-thing. He is the Prince of Peace....so since He loves me so much - He's constantly working on me. :)

Friday Faves.....Blessed Assurance and Chuck E. Cheese (oh not really!!)

2009-09-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

My favorite old hymns and modern praise songs…..a stupendous topic for this list of Friday Faves.

Keep in mind, these favorites I have listed for my hymns are based solely on the first, second and fourth verses of each song. I have no clue what the third verse in any hymn is…..I think it was against the Southern Baptist Convention to include the third verse in your song service. Either that – or it was just known across the Baptist faith that skipping this verse got you out of church a few minutes earlier.

The answer to that mystery will elude me until I get to heaven I suppose. But I digress.

I truly have too many favorite hymns to list in a brief Friday post. I am a sucker for the old Baptist hymnal. Be still my heart.

When I was six or seven years old and we would visit my Grandma McGehee, there was always a Sunday morning church involved. I loved sitting next to her during the song service because she didn’t even need a hymnal. She knew every word to every song, and I remember thinking that was so cool. Ever since then, when a hymn is sung in church, I find myself trying to sing it from memory instead of looking at the words on the screen. Oh how silly that is, I know. But who doesn’t want to be just like grandma? Well, of course without the smell of Oil of Olay and White Diamonds perfume. I’ll pass on that part.

Blessed Assurance – you just have to give your self a blessing today and click on this link. Even though the site does not seem to be technologically into the year 2009, it takes me back to my childhood, sitting in the pews of Double Branch Baptist Church.
And oh the JOY of knowing that Jesus is mine!

Victory in Jesus –

I heard an old, old story,

How a Savior came from glory,

How He gave His life on Calvary

To save a wretch like me;

I heard about His groaning,

Of His precious blood's atoning,

Then I repented of my sins;

And won the victory.

Chorus:

O victory in Jesus,

My Savior, forever.

He sought me and bought me

With His redeeming blood;

He loved me ere I knew Him,

And all my love is due Him,

He plunged me to victory,

Beneath the cleansing flood.

I heard about His healing,

Of His cleansing power revealing.

How He made the lame to walk again

And caused the blind to see;

And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,

Come and heal my broken spirit,"

And somehow Jesus came and brought

To me the victory.

Chorus.

I heard about a mansion

He has built for me in glory.

And I heard about the streets of gold

Beyond the crystal sea;

About the angels singing,

And the old redemption story,

And some sweet day I'll sing up there

The song of victory.

Chorus.

As I sang this song throughout my childhood, I had no idea the impact it would have on me later in life. When I hear this song now, my heart leaps at the truth of its words. How precious is our victory over sin! How amazing is the death Jesus suffered so that WE could live in daily victory. I don’t know about you, but I just want shout, “Hallejuah!” when I sing about his plunging me to victory beneath the cleansing flood. I need a cleansing flood to soak me every morning before my feet hit the floor!

Having grown up a staunch Baptist, I am now a living-breathing Methodist (much to my daddy’s chagrin). Speaking of my father’s chagrin, I am now a conservative republican, which goes against my democratic-fish-fry-political-rally upbringing. But that is another story for another time. It would actually bore you anyway, because politics is just not a blog topic for someone who would rather talk about shoes and purses and toddlers and faith (in no particular order).

Which is just a beautiful segue into the topic of my favorite modern worship songs (or not).

Only a God Like You – this youtube link is of me singing. No, I’m kidding.

Revelation Song – on any given day, you could spot me driving my car and belting this song at the top of my lungs. It just gets me going like no other. However, when we sing it in church, I tone it down a bit. Otherwise, I would sound like a bad American Idol audition.

That’s it for my Friday Faves – head over to It’s Almost Naptime for more links.

I’m off to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese this afternoon. I can’t say that adventure gets me as excited as reading about everyone’s favorite hymns. Although I am trying, for Luke’s sake, to have a good attitude about eating dry pizza and listening to a bunch of maniacal toddlers screaming as they play on dirty equipment. The germ-a-phobe mother I am not, but I will tote a large bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse. He will bathe in it as soon as we head to the car (which hopefully is within two hours after our arrival.)

The Fear of Monsters and What If's

2009-09-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

Luke is afraid of monsters that live in his closet.

Every night before he gets into bed, we check the closet to see if there are monsters; and we remind him that 1) monsters are not real and 2) mommy and daddy will always keep him safe.

Last Monday night, Luke crept down to our bedroom at 4 o'clock a.m. and claimed that a monster was using the potty in his bathroom.

This was a very real scenario to him, so even though mommy and daddy knew the monsters were not, in fact, using his potty, we let him snuggle up between us in our bed.

Although his little 3 year old fears seem so silly to his 31 year old mother, I have to ask myself about my own scaredy-cat fears.

I am bombarded at times by fears:

What happens if I don't meet my producton goals at work this year?

What happens if I don't make Partner?

Just how financially secure are we?

What if my husband were to lose his job?

What happens if I don't close another deal for the rest of the year?

All of these fears (though huge in my mind) must seem ludicrous to my faithful heavenly Father. They are simple-minded compared to the provision of a Mighty God. I do know this in my head, but how do I move this knowledge to my heart?

I have created a little project for myself (by the prompting of a certain Holy Spirit). This "project" came from my quiet time on Saturday morning....after asking God how to put the feet of my revelations to the pavement of my life.

I was studying Psalms 34, and though I couldn't come up with a cutesy way to structure it (i.e. the Five F's to Freedom from Fear), I did come up with three steps that I will take when tempted to cling to my fears. Finding three steps really made me proud because I felt like my Baptist preacher father, who gives a 3-point sermon no less than 52 weeks a year.

When a fear bounces into the my thought closet, I will:

1) PRAISE the LORD - because when I am praising Him, there is no room for fears.

"My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt His name together."

Psalm 34:2-3

I will praise the Lord for His deliverance from anxiety. For His great love that saves me from the pit of despairing worry. For His blood that has purchased my pardon. I will lift up the Name that is above all names.....because my fears are unfounded when I rest in the shadow of His wings. The God who engineered the rotational axis of planet Earth can most assuredly handle my little life.

2) LOOK UP.

"I sought the Lord and He answered me;

He delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame."

Psalm 34:45

Instead of looking all around me to figure out my own method of deliverance (which, really, how many times have my anxiety-driven solutions worked?), I will look up into the face of the One who has faithfully delivered in the past. Is my Father not the God who parted the Red Sea on behalf of my spiritual ancestors? Is He not the One who raised Jesus from the dead? How small my own fears are in light of the true dangers in this world. And although I am tempted to stop this post right now as I think about the poverty across the world (and how silly my own petty fears are in comparison), I am still typing because I know God cares. Looking up instead of around is necessary if we want to give our fears to Someone capable of giving us peace in exchange.

3) REST in the promise of His deliverance.

"A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all."

Psalm 34:19

I will have trials and troubles as long as I live on this earth, but I can use my fears as an opportunity to seek the Lord.

Luke knows where he can run in the middle of the night if he hears monsters in his closet.

......and I know where I can run when those monster-like fears show up in my mind's closet.....

To the safety and comfort and salvation of the One who is bigger than all boogey-men.

Mommy's Favorite Songs

2009-09-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

Mommy’s favorite songs to sing to Luke:

I grew up singing so many Jesus-praising VBS/Sunday school songs, and I hope that a few of them will stick in Luke’s heart as ones that “mommy always sang…..”

Of course, Jesus Loves Me is the standard. We sing this at night after saying our prayers. Luke and his daddy really get into the line – “God is strong.” They put a major emphasis on this, saying it in a loud, fierce, better-watch-out-devil voice.

My absolute favorite song is If I were a Butterfly. I don’t sing this to Luke often, but I have made a mental note to put this into our repertoire.
I remember loving to shout out this song when I was probably five or six years old. The words have been written on my heart ever since. I want Luke to grow up with the truth implanted in his mind that God has made him an original, one-of-a-kind special person. He doesn’t have to measure up to the strengths of others…..but he just has to be who God made him to be.
And just in case you have been unfortunate enough to never hear this song, it goes like this:

If I were a butterfly
I’d thank you Lord for giving me wings
If I were a robin in a tree
I’d thank you Lord that I could sing
If I were a fish in the sea
I’d wiggle my tail and I’d giggle with glee
But I just thank you Father for making me, me

For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile
You gave me Jesus and you made me your child
And I just thank You Father for making me, me

And my other very favorite: He’s Still Working on Me

And that’s all she wrote….because the lyrics say it well enough. He is still working on Luke’s mommy, thank you Jesus.

Click on the Friday Faves link at the right to hop over to It's Almost Naptime and see other Friday Favorites!

Family Carpool

2009-09-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Luke’s first three days of preschool have been a blast. Now that he is going to preschool on the campus of “Daddy’s work,” we have a family car pool.
I love it because we all get to spend half an hour together to and from our respective day time destinations.

I’m not quite sure Larry is totally crazy about this set-up…..because of the bombarding questions he faces at the end of each day (that’s what a wife does, right?), but I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Luke’s little man personality is already starting to show up in so many ways, too. I was asking him all about his day at school on the way home yesterday, and after the eleventh (or so) question, he said, “Mommy, I told you already.”

Okay, I get it. You are a male, and you prefer to chill out after a busy day. I will try for your sanity and your father’s to be a little less inquisitive. As a guy, I know you will never understand that a girl likes details. As a girl, I would like to know who you played with, what you learned, what Sam was wearing, who you sat next to at lunch, etc.

Larry made fun of me on the ride home on Tuesday afternoon, and he started teaching Luke how to sing “Feelings”. The nerve of these two!

I am just bound and determined to make this “togetherness in the car time” meaningful. Next week I am going to bring Luke’s children’s devotional bible with us, and we will get the day started in God’s Word. I also have our Seeds Family Worship cd’s, which have been a hit with Luke. I have to manage this transition very gracefully, though, and make sure that Larry still gets a few minutes of his talk radio.
Hopefully Larry won’t throw up when he suddenly hears of his new drive-in-to-work routine. Maybe I won’t go so estrogen on him, and we’ll just slowly integrate new things.

Who knows? I will keep you posted on the Dalke Daily Drive. I’m sure that plenty of stories will come from it…..if I don’t go overboard talking about “feelings”. I may end up being kicked out of the carpool!

Chicken Fingers, Mac & Cheese

2009-08-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

I’m going on a date with my husband tonight. I get so jazzed when we actually go out to a restaurant, and I can enjoy conversation with my Larry without having to subdue my Luke every five minutes. Seriously, the restaurants have a good idea going with the crayons and fun place-mat drawing…..but it doesn’t last longer than 7.5 minutes. I’m hoping this is the standard attention span for a three year old and not an indication of early on-set ADD. Oh the horror….one person in the family is enough.

But I digress.

His favorite bedtime story lately is a book I picked up last year, called Why do you Always Have to Say Please? This book one of the cheesiest books I have ever read. It makes many desperate, far-fetched attempts to rhyme; for example:

“Don’t throw food because it could get messy;
If you are in a restaurant, you could hit someone’s Aunt Tessy.”

How dumb is that?

But, Luke loves it. He especially likes it when his Daddy reads it to him because Larry has a way of making books more enjoyable. Mommy is the serious reader; Daddy reads to make it funny. And depending on Luke’s mood, he’ll let us know whose turn it is to read.
But back to this silly book: it’s a book where these two kids are dining at a restaurant with their parents, and its purpose is to teach “restaurant manners.” I have to say that it must be soaking in because last night we went to dinner with friends, and not one time did he squirrel out of his seat. He must have remembered:

“No whining when dining,
And remember where to keep your hiney.”

Why did I buy this book? Did I just like the title? Who knows…..but if it keeps Luke in his seat, it was worth the $4.99.

That’s it for Friday, friends. I’m ready for my date tonight!

Until next week, remember, “Chicken Fingers, Mac & Cheese, never forget that it’s nice to say ‘please’.”

Give me some WISDOM

2009-08-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” ~James 3:17 NIV

I have been thinking often about wisdom lately. What is it? How do I truly live wisely? Do I just need to memorize proverbs…..or is it more than that?

Wisdom is that piece of character that resides outside of the emotions. As a woman – I am so prone to fly by the seat of my pants……constantly directed by my feelings. I can use me some wisdom: not only in teaching my child how to love or in living frugally, but also in my work life. I am a manager for goodness’ sake, and I cannot make business decisions based on how I feel! Because more often than not – I don’t like my employees. That’s horrible to say. I try so much to love them and be a joy in their lives……but that isn’t always how it stacks up. However, regardless of how I “feel” about them personally, I cannot make decisions for their career based on my emotional status. I NEED WISDOM.

And you want to know something ironic? Larry and I have been asked to teach a Sunday school class at our church for recent college graduates. After praying about the direction to take the class, wisdom has repeatedly raised its hand. Funny how the Lord lays something on your heart that you need to work on……….and then calls you to teach it so that you really have to study it. Thank God He is always purposeful in my life. He knows what I need and He makes sure I find a way to get it.

So Lord, here I come. You told me to ask you for wisdom; and when I ask, You have promised to pour it out freely.

If any of you have ever done a great study on wisdom that truly impacted you………..or have any ideas for a study……….leave a comment for me.

The Trying Times of Toddlerhood

2009-08-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

Give me a break! Please, sweet Jesus, just HELP me here!!
All weekend long, I have been struggling (yes, struggling to the uttermost definition of the word) with my sweet Luke.

He has attitude! And when I say "attitude", I'm not talking about a calm, precious, peaceful personality. Certainly not the kind Paul talked about when he told us our "...attitude should be that of Christ Jesus," Phil 2:2-4

Luke's attitude of late is one of defiance. stubbornness. ugliness. Anything BUT lovely.
And I, as his mother, have also failed to exhibit the patience the Bible calls me to have.

Why must he press me to the limits? Why does he act like a rebellious teenager when he hasn't even had his fourth birthday? I'm happy for the Amazon buy-with-one-click, because James Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child was purchased earlier today during the midst of a Luke Dalke Meltdown.

I want to be a good mother (as we all do).....and I somehow had this notion that motherhood is all pony-ride birthdays and playground bliss. Until, I heard my own mother's voice come out of my mouth two days ago as we were driving to the grocery store. The aforementioned strong-willed child was doing his thing in the backseat......throwing a fit that should have been filmed and submitted to the actor's guild. It was definitely one for the Oscars.

Anyhow, I pulled to the side of the road and my mother said, "Luke Philip Dalke, I will pull this car over, and I will wear your tail out and it will hurt." Except - it wasn't my mother.....it was ME. I said it. I did one of those "things" I swore I would never do as a mother.
And there went the dream of being the perfect mom. Out the window with my sanity.

Now I have realized that there is no such thing: No One has attained the crown of "Perfect Mother". And thank goodness! Because then my competitive nature would surely drive me over the edge to beat her record.

Thank God for GRACE. I am now convinced that there is more grace for mothers than there is for everyone else. There just has to be based on the law of physics.....or something like that.....because we NEED it desperately. All moms blow it. Every woman who has given birth to an innocent, lovable infant who has then turned into a toddler has thrown her hands up in exasperation.

And so now, after (1) a dinner where there were burps with no "excuse me's", (2) where there were two legs that kept finding there way out of their chair, and (3) where there was an ugly "I don't have to" attitude - - we are sitting in the living room watching the movie Cars. Both of us have a chance to redeem ourselves, and as I look down at this once again sweet little boy......I know that I wouldn't change him for the world.

And there will be more weekends like these.....you can just ask my mom.

Dear Mom,
Wow. You had THREE of us. I'm so sorry.....but I get it now. I promise that I have more love and respect for you than ever. I know you just always wanted to be the perfect mom. And you know what? You were......you did the best you could with what you had to work with!
I love you,
Amy

Friday Faves....

2009-08-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm joining Missy at "It's Almost Naptime" in posting my Friday Faves.

This weeks' topic is "What is your favorite music that you listen to in your car?"

I spend an inordinate amount of time in the car (driving to and from work), so I have either my iPod, a CD, or the radio going at all times.

My recent go-to music in the car is Christy Nockels' Life Light Up album. The entire cd is awesome (or in the words of a teenager, epic). The lyrics that "light me up" are:

I may live and I may die

Either way You're glorified

Bless the day I give my life away!

My "other" greatest-favorite in the car is Travis Cottrell's Jesus Saves Live.....Mercy Seat....enough said.

Luke's favorite is Seeds Family Worship. This is scripture based music that actually helps you (and your child!!) memorize verses! I love it because Luke is listening to the Word of God in the car....and he'll tell me to play it over and over. So literally, while we are driving, seeds of the WORD are planted into his mind. I highly recommend this to anyone with children. And Missy, I was turned on to this by reading a post you had written about it several months ago.
Thank you for the suggestion!

Lastly, Larry's favorite drive-time listening is talk radio.....and occasionally the classic rock station. :)

Pop over to Missy's site for links to other Friday Faves: It's Almost Naptime!

Clutter

2009-08-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

Scene in my kitchen on Sunday afternoon:

*One toddler size 9 shoe on the floor (who knows where its mate was)
*3/4 of a Transformer toy near the island
*One cap gun on the bottom shelf of the baker's rack
*6 crayons scattered around the breakfast bar
*1 very loved dog toy resting next to the back door

Everything was out of place except for the partridge in a pear tree.....and that's only because we don't have either.
Just shy of being anal retentive about organization, I like my house to be clean and put-together.
Clutter does not lend itself to my sanity. Suffice it to say that with a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 16 year old girl at home, I am insane at least 42% of the time.

Every other Wednesday when I come home from work, I breathe in the smell of clean Fabulosa floors and Windexed mirrors. These are the days a sweet lady cleans my house. Oh such days should come around more often, but that would cost more so I deal with it.

As I was surveying the madness that was my kitchen, I decided to just clean it up on my own instead of waste my breath trying to teach Luke a life-lesson about picking up after yourself. As I knelt down in disgust at the disarray, the thought struck me that my soul gets cluttered just like my house.

*Bad attitude in the long check-out line ("hurry-uuuPP muttered under my breath)
*A sharp tongue unleashed out of frustration at an innocently energetic 3 year old
*Ugly words spoken about an imperfect boss (by an imperfect employee)
*Selfishness in wanting what is mine to remain mine
*Fear of "what will happen" if I obey God in a certain matter

This is just a sample of the clutter that piles up in my heart like dirty laundry.

My soul needs to be de-cluttered every single day. A twice a month house cleaning by a hired service just won't be sufficient. Bringing my heart to the Lord daily and truly listening (that's my issue) to what He's telling me to weed out is a necessity. Otherwise pride and greed can build up and erode our intimacy.

Ephesians 5:26 says, ".....to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,"
A scholar could go several different directions with this, but one thing is clear to me: my spiritual house is cleansed by drenching myself in the Word of God.

Oh that we would all be as diligently clutter-free with our souls as we are with our physical homes. Well, unless you are the aforementioned 16 year old girl.....and you could use some (encouragement?) in being more concerned about the cleanliness of the physical, too.

I want that Wednesday-afternoon-clean-house happiness to be experienced in my "spiritual house" daily.

Thank You, Jesus for the power in Your blood shed on the cross for me. I am hopeless and helpless without You as my cleansing agent.

Scripture Memory Verse 16

2009-08-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

"Do not let kindness and truth leave you;

Bind them around your neck,

Write them on the tablet of your heart."

Proverbs 3:3 NIV

I have just completed Week One in Jennifer Rothschild's Me, Myself, & Lies bible study, and I have been blown away to recognize where my mind spends most of its time. My thought closet is jammed full of fears and worries and generally negative thinking. Wow, I don't even like to admit that. But thank God, He has opened my eyes to this so that He can transform my mind by the power of His WORD. I don't think it's ironic that a couple of months ago, I posted about my mental rat-race.

Jennifer said at one point in the first week that "....worry filled meditation never leads to liberty. It turns your thought closet into a prison filled with life-choking weeds..."

My 16th verse for 2009 is Proverbs 3:3 because I need to plant that truth where the yuck has been.

Christ is grace and truth, and He is my standard.....

These are a few of my favorite things.....

2009-08-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, so I'm naturally thinking happy thoughts. Since I'm thinking such happy thoughts, I decided to post about things that make me happy!

Here is my Top Ten (keep in mind that these change at a moment's notice, depending on what mood I'm in; what time of the month it is; or whether or not my child just decided to color the carpet in his bedroom.)

In typical David Letterman backwards countdown style:

(10) Books. I love to read. And Karen Kingsbury is my all-time favorite Christian fiction author. I love how her characters become my own family (I'm not joking, I totally feel as though the Baxter's are my cousins). Every time I read one of her books, I sense my own relationship with the Lord growing deeper.....and that's pretty powerful y'all.

(9) Coffee (I particularly like the kind from convenience stores). Here is my recipe, tried and tested each morning for the past three years:

20 oz. cup

3 sweet-n-lows (or splenda)

1 french vanilla creamer

Mix the creamer with the 3 sweeteners

pour roughly 3/4 a cup of coffee

top with the machine-made cappucino

This is a no-fail recipe for a DELICIOUS cup of coffee. If, however, you are driving on Hwy 69 in southeastern Oklahoma - - you are probably better off grabbing a McCafe at the nearest McDonalds.

(8) Maxi Dresses - although I have lusted after these in windows and catalogs all summer, I finally bought one for myself last weekend. It's literally the most comfortable thing I have ever worn.

(7) Plato's Closet - brand-name-gently-used clothing. I'm not much for buying tanks or t-shirts or shoes at resale shops.....but this place has been a wonderous discovery for my personal jeans selection. I have purchased Citizens of Humanity, Seven for all Mankind, and Joe's Jeans at very low prices (the most I have paid for one pair is $35).

(6) Lessons I learned in the Dark - by Jennifer Rothschild - I heard Jennifer speak at She Speaks, and she is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. She has such a beautiful faith, and her love for Jesus is written all over her face. I started reading this book on an airplane last weekend. Her words and encouragement just drove me to the feet of Jesus....right there in row 8C.

(5) Weekend morning breakfasts with my husband. There are fewer things I enjoy more than a)my husband and b) peanut butter and jelly toast.

(4) Jillian Michael's 30-day-Shred - those who know me, know that I really-really-really-really love to exercise. And this, my friends, is the work-out DVD of the year for me. To quote Miss Jillian, "you don't have to spend hours phoning it in at the gym..." I have sincerely seen a difference in my body after using this.

(3) Scentsy! Okay - I may be a little bias because I sell this stuff. But it's awesome! Scentsy is a line of wickless candles, where highly scented wax is melted by a 25-watt bulb in a decorative warmer. Sound confusing? Check out my website: www.scentsy.com/smellgoodie. There are over 80 scents and 50 warmers to choose from. There are also plug-in warmers that fit perfectly in bathrooms or hallways. I actually keep one plugged in 24/7 in my son's room....because it not only makes it smell better, it is his night-light!

(2) Stella & Dot jewelry - www.stelladot.com/kimberlyjohnson. My friend Kimberly just started her own business, and oh-my-gosh, this jewelry rocks! It's very reasonably priced....and what's not to like about jewelry that is sported by everyone from Paris Hilton to the Bachelorette Jillian??

(1) My FAMILY.

My family makes me so happy. They make me laugh, they make me cry, and I am humbled when I step back and think about how much God has graced me with these.

That's just UG-ly

2009-08-11T17:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in five (six?) days because someone chewed my laptop power cord. That certain someone will not claim the blame....primarily because they cannot talk. I initially blamed Kathryn, my 16 year old stepdaughter for the incident; but then I realized she doesn't have a habit of chewing on power cords. So, it must have been the cat.

We just got back yesterday from a wonderful mini-vacation to Los Angeles. When I say "mini", I really mean 3.5 quick-not-long-enough days.

Larry and I took Alex, Kathryn, and Luke to Los Angeles to spend time with Lauren; and we squeezed every drop out of those few days. Disney Land, Venice Beach, shopping on Melrose Avenue and shopping at the Grove were just a sample of our adventures.

Luke just totally turns his show on when he's around his brother and sisters. This 3 and a half year old child evolves into a comedian when he has an audience. He even said "your mudder" (translation: your mother) to Alex in the perfect context when Alex was teasing him. Not that I am pleased that he is so quick with such an inappropriate retort, but it was pretty funny. Much of Luke's comedic behavior is a product of staying home this summer with his big sister, Kathryn, instead of going to Miss Dorothy's as he normally would. I am reasonably sure that Dorothy does not hold Michael Jackson video viewing parties or teach the kids rap songs off of her iPod. I'm just praying that when someone at pre-school takes away one of his crayons, he won't start talking about their mom.

So back to my original point for this post (which, I never started telling...!).

I had to discipline Luke several times during our trip for his ugly mouth and/or snotty behavior. He would back-talk me and just blatantly do things he knew were not acceptable. He even picked a burger (translation: booger) and put it in Kathryn's purse! Gross!

I felt like a parrot constantly repeating, "Luke, that's ugly; we don't act that way." I swear I said it twenty times in a half hour period.

I was lying in bed on Saturday night, praying before I went to sleep. In the midst of confessing a situation(s) where I responded to Larry with a bad attitude, I was reminded of my words.....only this time it sounded like, "Oh Amy, that was Ug-ly." It struck me that God would use the same words that I had spoken to my child - to convict me of an ugly attitude. Is He not the perfect parent, though?

It blows my mind that my love for Luke doesn't even come close to God's love for me! My finite mind just cannot take it all in. I am praying today that God will help me to know His love that surpasses knowledge, that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:19)

And Lord, help me not to act ugly (especially because I have a precocious child with a sponge-like mind, who repeats everything he hears...)

AMY

Waking up Late Messes with my Head

2009-08-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

I woke up late today.

Too late to have my "quiet time"....and so late that I didn't have time to dry my hair before leaving the house.

My sweet Larry doesn't fare well on those days that I hit snooze, because I generally treat him like it's his fault. For example, today, my coffee didn't taste right (his fault); his attempts at humor were met with an annoyed eye roll; and each time he tried to make me laugh, I acted like "that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard".

Ewww.....when I don't spend quality time refreshing my mind in the Word FIRST thing in the morning, I am yucky.

On the way to work (we rode together this morning), I read Lysa Terkeurst's Proverbs 31 devotional aloud. The basic point was that we should allow the peace of Christ to rule our hearts - - and in doing this, we must make the choice to overcome petty aggravations and disappointments. I love the statement she used, "If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, it's still a pretty good day."

After I finished reading the devotional, Larry grinned at me and told me that I could just dust myself off and say, "If bad tasting coffee is the worst thing that can happen to me today...then it is still a pretty good day".

I had to smile; and when I dropped him off, I drove through Starbucks. :)

Colossians 3:15-17, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (NIV)

What is in a Brand Name?

2009-08-05T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have always loved brand names.

From the time I was in third grade and all my friends wore Keds, I have been aware of the power of wearing a "name".
My mom didn't want to spend the $25 on real Keds - so instead I wore the Payless version, which didn't have a blue tag on the back. This made my eight year old heart feel a bit "less than" the cool kids.

In fourth and fifth grade, everyone wore Guess jeans and Espirit outfits - also something I never owned. And oh, the conflict this created between my mom and me! Still, the underlying issue was that I wasn't secure enough in my own name to hold my head high in my JCPenney clothes.

I still love a designer name on my clothes. From Ralph Lauren to Juicy Couture, I love the confidence booster and status I feel when I wear them.....and don't even get me started on purses and handbags.
The name lust doesn't stop at clothes; I love to dress my home in Williams & Sonoma and Crate & Barrel.

What is up with this?

Not only is this an issue of insecurity, I think it's an identity crisis. See, I have concluded that my love for all things brand name is rooted in the desire to belong.....or to be accepted. By adorning my body, shoulders, or living room with a "name", I am letting people know I belong to the Cool Club.

In Isaiah 44:5, the Lord says, "Some will proudly claim, 'I belong to the Lord.' Others will say, 'I am a descendant of Jacob.' Some will write the Lord's name on their hands and will take the honored name of Israel as their own." (NLT)

This verse got me thinking about my name brand issue....and I plan to dive further into this topic because the very next verse starts the discussion of manufactured idols. Hmm....
It's not that I consciously bow down to Seven for all Mankind jeans, but am I not worshipping these things to some degree? Talk about getting the sharp end of the Sword of the Spirit on this topic! This hurts!

When it comes right down to it, I am a child of the Great Designer of all Creation. He tops Dolce & Gabbana and/or Diane Von Furstenberg in His artistry.....and no pair of blue jeans can wash this deluded heart whiter than snow.

Matthew 2:21 - "And His name will be the hope of the world."
Philippians 2:9 - "Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Given the Truth of the verses above, with whom do I truly want to identify? The Maker of the Universe or the maker of really cool handbags? The Ancient of Days or the Hot-for-One-Season scarf?
When I think of it that way - the best choice is obvious.....maybe not so easy at times....but obvious.

Besides that, Jesus picked me and wanted me to belong to Him so much that He has my name written on His hand:

"See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." (Isaiah 49:16 NLT)

Enough said.

Scripture Memory Round 13

2009-08-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

Time for the 13th memory verse of 2009! The regular discipline of memorizing and meditating on scripture has truly done a wonder to the renewing of my mind.

I have been following Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministries blog, and on the 1st and 15th of every month, everyone chooses a new memory verse. I have been toying with the idea of doing something like this on my blog, because I firmly believe that memorizing and applying scripture is the ONLY way to flesh out God's Word in your life. Leave a comment if you think you would be interested in joining me....

My 13th verse is Psalm 16:11: "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."

And on the scripture memory note, I'll leave you with this: your thoughts direct your behavior....so as women pursuing Jesus, shouldn't our lives/thoughts reflect the truth of Phil 4:8?

Lord, Thank You for Your great love towards your girls. Thank You that when we submit our minds to you (thought by thought) - You fill our minds with peace and joy as we trust in You. Help us in our pursuit of freedom from captive minds. Transform our minds by replacing the chaos with Your TRUTH.
In the mighty, holy, wonderful name of Jesus.
Amen, Amen, and Amen.

The Joy of Doing What God Created You to Do....

2009-08-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

What a weekend!

I typically come away from all conferences with a "mountain-top" experience. Somehow, this is different.

Not only did I meet great women and learn new speaking and writing skills, I met Jesus. As women who feel called to speak and write for the glory of God, we were there to gather information on how to effectively communicate with our audiences (I have to grin as I type this....because I don't even have an "audience" yet), how to write book proposals, and/or how to write magazine articles.
Yet the very first speaker, Lysa Terkeurst, reminded us that these new skills are useless without a relationship with Jesus. Not just a "Hi, how are you?" grocery-store-check-out-line relationship.....but an intimate "knowing" of each other i.e. a knowledge that Paul wrote about in his letter to the Philippians. Echoing Paul, I "want to know Christ....I want to progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him; perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly".

True ministry is born out of this relationship with the Lord. It is birthed out of a desperation for Him.
Without Jesus, the words that I speak and the words that I write are somewhat empty.
But when I'm doing life with Him, the fullness of God is in each letter, syllable, and paragraph.
The message inked on my heart is from the Holy Spirit when I tap into His power to write and speak.

Praise the Lord....may the words of my mouth and the words put to paper be authored by the One who created this vessel.

Love,
Amy

She Speaks!

2009-07-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I will be attending the She Speaks conference in North Carolina. Talk about nerves, excitement, anxiety, and flat-out hurry-up-and-get-here anticipation!

I know God wants me at this conference; He has great things in store for me over the coming weekend.....but my stomach is in knots over the "what ifs". What if I'm horrible? What if I'm really not cut out for a career in speaking? What if I'm really not a good writer? When these silly fears raise their ugly heads, I must remember that I KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt that God has called me to this place.

He set me apart before I was born....and ever since I was a young girl, I have known there were books and words and a passion for writing deep within me. I don't have to be little miss perfect speaker or writer at this conference.
I just have to show up with my heart for Jesus, and He will teach me. He will give me the words to speak - HIS words, not my words.

The Lord is full of compassion, and I can just picture Him kind of laughing at my finite perception of the gifts and talents He has given me. What a wonder He is...and what a silly girl I am at times. To even think that He won't equip me to flesh out the skills He has given me. Not for my own glory, but for His glory alone.

Psalms 25:4-5
"Show me Your way, O Lord. Teach me Your path. Guide me in Your truth and teach me. For you are God, my Savior; and my hope is in YOU all day long...."

Praise the Lord from whom all blessings flow! I'm praying He will just knock my socks off this weekend....and that He will fan the flame of the Spirit in the depths of my soul!

Carrying My Water Pail of Significance

2009-07-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

In the fourth chapter of the Gospel of John, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman as she is walking to a well to get water. In this exchange, Jesus tells her that if she only knew who she was talking to, she would be asking Him for water instead.
Relatively baffled, she counters his statement by basically asking who he thought he was thinking his water was better.
Jesus goes on to say that He offers living water.....a bubbling spring water that quenches your thirst forever.

This all looks like a simple exchange between an ordinary woman going out to fill up her bucket with water and an ordinary man asking her for a drink.
What she doesn't realize initially is that this man is the Savior of the world, and He is offering her a lifetime of satisfaction.

How often am I like this woman....going about her daily business (or busy-ness), when I am confronted with Jesus' offering. I am a sucker for "ordinary" water; water that truly doesn't satisfy the longings of my heart.
Just like the Samaritan woman, I start the day with an empty bucket that I seek to fill with the things of this world.
At one point or another in my life, there have been numerous items that have filled up my bucket: things like designer clothes, purses, shoes (because if I look good....I feel good, right?); magazines (images of the ideal body...again, if I look perfect, I must be...); awards from my job to symbolize my "worth" in achievement; food (which I have used to comfort my empty heart); and even my husband has had his place in that bucket.

NONE of these things can satisfy me. Sure, they aren't necessarily "bad" things; yet they are not sources of everlasting contentment. The pseudo-wholeness they give me does not last. The good news (the GREAT news) is that in Jesus Christ, I have been given the Holy Spirit....the LIVING WATER that quenches my empty soul. His Spirit lives within me every moment of my life, and when I recognize that my craving is misplaced unless fulfilled in Him - life is so much sweeter.

There is a song I love that depicts my feelings perfectly:

Who can satisfy my soul, like You
Who on earth can comfort me and love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You, I will trust in You, my God

Who can satisfy my soul, like You
Who on earth can comfort me and love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You, I will trust in You, my God

There is a fountain, who is a King
Victorious warrior and Lord of everything
My rock, my shelter, my very own
Blessed Redeemer, who reigns upon the throne, oh yes

There is a fountain, who is a King
Victorious warrior and Lord of everything
My rock, my shelter, my very own
Blessed Redeemer, who reigns upon the throne

Who can satisfy my soul like You
Who can ever comfort and love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You, I will trust in You, my God

There is a fountain, who is a King
Victorious warrior and Lord of everything
My rock, my shelter, my very own
Blessed Redeemer, who reigns upon the throne

While I would love to sing this to you.....I think you would get distracted by my off-tune high-pitched voice. You get the point, though.
Nothing on this earth can satisfy our souls like our God. No one can love us like He loves us. What a relief? This truth is enough to make me want to ditch that bucket for good!!

Isaiah 55: 1-2
"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come by wine and mile
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare!"

Psalm 63:5
"My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

Miscellaneous-Randomness

2009-07-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

Wow I cannot believe it is already July! We have such a busy summer that I'm sure it will be Christmas before I can take a breath. Maybe I exaggerate just a bit.

We have Kathryn with us until early August, and she will be staying with Luke during the day for all of July. This has worked out so well because (1) Luke adores his big sister and doesn't want her out of his sight and (2) for the last few weeks he has become very frustrated with going to Miss Dorothy's everyday. Dorothy has been absolutely a wonderful blessing to our family over the last three years, but it's almost like he's bored over there.
Anyway, Kathryn needed a job so there you have it. She is the official Luke-sitter.

Larry, Kathryn, and I are all going to UM Army (a Methodist Habitat-for-Humanity-type program)the week of July 12. Kathryn is none too excited to give up her cell phone and spend the entire week with virtual strangers, but I have faith that once she is there - she'll have a ball. Larry and I went together two years ago, and although we had no idea what we were getting into - we LOVED it.
I am praying that Kathryn's relationship with the Lord would just blossom during this week......and that the experience would light a fire in her heart for Jesus.

I will be going to a writer's conference at the end of July. This is something I am both excited and nervous about. It will be my first one ever, and I'm not quite sure what to expect. But I do know that God put this conference on my calendar - so it will be a great opportunity to meet other aspiring authors, make new friends, and grow as a writer.

To add to the random-ness of this post, I have to mention our favorite tv shows this summer. I am such a sucker for the Bachelor/Bachelorette, and I'm getting frustrated with Jillian because she can't see that Wes is a loser. You are obviously lost if you don't watch the show, but trust me. Wes needs to go.
We've also been watching America's Got Talent. A co-worker of mine, Sarah Golden, auditioned in Houston and actually made it to the semi-finals in Las Vegas. I got to go to the taping (and sit on the second row catty-corner to the judges!!) so we have to watch to see Sarah....and of course, to see if I made my national television debut.
Kathryn went the day after I did (they had multiple tapings), and she was on tv last night! There was a pretty good shot of her near the beginning of the show last night.

Our Fourth of July should be relatively un-eventful. Kathryn will be going to her mom's for the weekend, Larry is playing in a golf tournament tomorrow, and Luke and I will swim, hang out, and possibly shop. Although I'm positive Larry will be utterly disappointed if he misses a shopping trip. That's what he gets for golfing. :)

I'm assuming you all have had enough rambling from me. So that's all I have.

Love -
Amy

Scripture Memory Round 12

2009-06-17T15:30:00.001-07:00

Wow - I cannot believe it's already time for the 12th verse of 2009. That means we are already halfway through this year. Time SO flies, and I have to wonder at what I have accomplished thus far in 2009.
I truly want this to be a Jesus year....a year of surrender, and a year that the Holy Spirit fills me up richly with His abiding, truthful presence.
For much of this year, I have felt out of control. There has been so much uncertainty with the economy (which directly affects my 100% commission job); I have started a new business (Scentsy); and I have been working on a book proposal, a 10-minute teaching, and a 700 word article for a writer's conference I am attending at the end of July.
The one thing I have to remember when the world is spinning around me, is that Jesus is the Prince of Peace. There is nothing under His authority that is out of control. Perhaps the reason I feel so overwhelmed is because I have not surrendered to His authority with some of these situations. How I long to automatically give everything to Him before I am even out of bed in the morning.
What would my life be like if I did give every piece of me to Jesus? I do know that when I do, I am not only filled with His love and peace - I experience a weightless joy.
So here is my verse for Scripture Memory #12. This is a prayer of David that I want to meditate on over the next two weeks......and I pray this becomes my soul's own joy.

"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for You,
my body longs for You,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen You in Your sanctuary
and beheld Your power and Your glory.
Because Your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise You.

On my bed I remember You;
I think of You through the watches of the night.
Because You are my help,
I will sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

But the princess (that's me) will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise Him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced."

~Psalms 63

AMEN!!

Scripture Memory Round 11

2009-06-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Here is my 11th memory verse for 2009!!

Just look over the fact that I never posted verses 8,9, and 10. I did them....just failed to post! :)

Ephesians 6:14-17

"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

How to be Obsessed

2009-05-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

If obsession was a character trait which one should aspire towards, I could teach the class. If it was a commendable attribute, I would be like Solomon composing the Proverbs.
My mind never stops. Short of being diagnosed as Obsessive-Compulsive, my personality snatches onto many things and tosses thoughts back and forth in my mind like toddlers playing ping-pong. I'm not sure that is the greatest analogy, but you get the point.
I make lists (yes, obsessively..); I say my plans out loud over and over; and I DWELL on something until I can put it into its proper place in my thought closet (at which time, I take it out and try it on again numerous times).

Sounds like fun, right? That's hard to admit, but I am often a prisoner of my own marathon mind.

Not only do I obsess, I am prone to addiction. When I get that one thing in my mind, it doesn't let go. God's Word tells me that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So my plan for the next few months? I'm going to find out what that means for me. I am going to dive into the meat and bones of Scripture and find answers for my life.

I need it. I need the healing power of God's Word. I don't even feel embarrassed to have this blogged to the world (well, not that the whole world reads this humble blog of mine!!) because I am convinced that I am not the only one whose mind is a raging motor speedway of racing thoughts.

So no, just in case you are wondering - I'm not having a nervous breakdown. At the moment, my mind is actually in a rare state of peace. I just want answers. I want freedom from this mind of mine -- and I will seek the Lord wholeheartedly until I find what I am looking for.

Dear Jesus - thank You for the amazing brains you have given us. I even thank You that mine has the ability to operate at high speeds :)
I know that I am not the only one of Your children who suffers from a tyrannical mind sometimes, Father. I plead with You to show me in Your Word what the solution is. Give me Your Spirit of Wisdom to discover life-changing (mind-numbing??) TRUTH. In Your marvelous Name I pray - AMEN.

Cluster of Random-ness

2009-05-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

Rush, Rush, Rush. That's all I have done for the past two weeks. Jumping from here to the next thing to the next thing. And now, I'm at home in bed instead of at my Discipleship Committee meeting at church because I'm just plain run down. T-I-R-E-D

I haven't even had TIME to post, even if I had a minute to think about what to post. Am I whining? So be it.

Larry is out of town for work this week, so I am home with Luke (who insists he is sleeping in Daddy's place tonight). He's in the kitchen right now with his easel, simultaneously acting the role of Boots (Dora's sidekick...for those who don't know), coloring/drawing monsters, and bothering the cats. How can a 3 year old multi-task so well? I suppose he has learned from his mommy.

We are meeting Larry in Oklahoma this weekend, and we're going to see his mom for Mother's Day. I can't wait to be away from the house this weekend.....where the only responsibility will be making my bed in the mornings (and, if I'm truthful, Larry will handle that task!).

This post was rather pointless, but I wanted to prove that I was still an active blogger. To whom I was trying to prove that point is yet to be determined - but whatever.

So now I'm going to watch American Idol and go check on Luke's artistry. Apparently he just drew a picture of me......

Blessings!
Amy

Scripture Memory Round 8

2009-04-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

I am VERY late in posting this verse. The next "round" will be next Saturday. Not sure how I missed my timing....probably because my life has been hectic (understatement) over the last two weeks.

Here's my verse:

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and He answered me by setting me free.
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
The Lord is with me; He is my Helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies."

Psalms 118:5-7 (NIV)

Take that, enemies! My God is bigger, stronger, mightier than you can fathom. My God is the God of all creation. My God is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; the God who Saves. He is always with me, whispering sweet peace to me in times of turmoil. He calms my heart when I am faced with overwhelming fear.
Fear and anxiety can never overtake me because they bow to the Mighty God I serve.
My God is a GOOD God, He is my Helper at ALL times. When I am tempted, He reminds me of my way out; when I am doubtful, He reminds me that His Presence is not based on a feeling. When I am wallowing in a deep cavernous pit, He whisks me away to a spacious place and reminds me who I am as His Beloved.

My God loves me! What a comfort!

~Amy

Living Simply

2009-04-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

My heart longs for simplicity. To live simply in the presence of God; to live simply, even in a world of "much".
Click on the button in the righthand column for sound advice on how to live a simple life.

Happy Monday!!

Love - Amy

My Sweet Boy

2009-04-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

I just don't know where the time has gone, and tonight I am reminiscing. Luke and I spent all day together: we went to the Houston Children's Festival, the petting zoo, Rainforest Cafe, and Katy Mills Mall (of course there had to be a mall in there somewhere!).

He is only 3 years and 3 months old, and I already find myself thinking, "Where has the time gone?" I look at his 3 ft 3 in stature and wonder where the tiny baby is hiding. He opens his mouth and tells me he wants to go to the "donut store", and I am baffled that he is no longer eating out of a jar. Luke is sitting next to me right now, begging to "help" me type. He's even learning manipulation, telling me that it's not dark outside so he shouldn't have to go to bed; telling me he IS being careful, when I tell him to quit jumping off the couch.

In the mall earlier today, he told me he was "getting very upset" as I was browsing in Banana Republic. I asked him why he was upset, and he told me he didn't want to be in that store. The child is so like his daddy already.

We were driving to church last Sunday morning, and from the backseat I hear, "Stupid lady, drive your car." Ouch. That was my son's voice.....my only consolation was that he heard that from his daddy, who often vocalizes his frustrations with other drivers.

He wears Spiderman underwear now instead of Nemo Pull-ups; He picks out his own clothes instead of waiting on me to tell him what to wear. And my sweet boy doesn't voluntarily kiss his mommy much anymore.

I pray that God will pour out His grace on this precious child; I know that I cannot hold onto him forever, but God can.

Scripture Memory Round 7!!

2009-04-01T16:14:00.000-07:00

For the record, I'm tired.

I took Kathryn to the Britney Spears concert on Monday night - and I didn't get home until 2:30am (I had to drive her home after the concert - and turn around and drive an hour and a half back to my house). It was definitely worth it though...because I don't get to spend nearly as much time with Kathryn as I would like. She's a sophomore now, and it makes me sad to think that in just two more years, we won't have our regular weekends with her anymore. She is truly my sweetheart. I couldn't love her any more if she were my very own.

I'm also tired because living in this flesh is just plain tiring. Sometimes I feel like I am running on a treadmill from sun-up to sun-down: getting a willing-or-un-willing Luke ready in the mornings; driving to work; daily morning meetings; strategizing, organizing, planning, and negotiating; lunch meetings with more of the aforementioned; managing people and dealing with their un-ending list of issues and complaints; driving home from work; getting dinner ready (or....more honestly, watching Larry get dinner ready..but that's still tiring!!); running/working out; hanging out with Luke; getting Luke a bath; taking a shower; and ending the day with a DVR'd version of whatever the daily "show" is.
Just typing out this list brings mental exhaustion as I visualize myself performing all of these activities! But did you notice something missing? I didn't include my daily date with Jesus (which usually happens first thing in the morning).

Without that "appointment", the day is draining. I most assuredly could not joyfully and energetically face the day's tasks without being first cleansed, refreshed, filled, and clothed by the Holy Spirit. I am so dependant on pouring the Truth into my mind before I even step into the shower - that I honestly could not operate as a "whole" person without my time with the Lord. I often joke that God must REALLY like to spend time with me since I'm quite a malfunctional mess without Him.

I picked the following verses for my Scripture Memory Round 7 because Paul tells the Romans (and us) that what we set our minds on affects our behavior. When I begin the day without setting my mind on His Holiness - I default to obsessing on gratifying my flesh.....and frankly, focusing on all that my flesh wants....and how my flesh can get it....is TIRING. It wears me out. What a sinner I am! Thank God this sinner is saved by His amazing grace!

So here are my memory verses! I will be clothing my mind with TRUTH before I jump out of bed in the morning; I will be focusing on all that is holy before a word comes out of my mouth; and I will step into His heavenly Presence before I have a chance to dwell on the pressures and problems of this world.

"For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.
Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].
[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God's Law; indeed it cannot.
So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him."

Romans 8: 5-8 (Amplified Version)

Catering to the appetites and impulses of my carnal nature has been a relentless, tyrannical, exhausting pursuit. May God help me moment by moment to live by the Spirit....and thus be filled with life (His life) and peace.

Amy

A Poem by Priscilla Schirer

2009-03-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

He is the First and Last,The Beginning and the End!
He is the keeper of Creation and the Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.
He always was, He always is, and He always will be....Unmoved, Unchanged, Undefeated, and never Undone!

He was bruised and brought healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought freedom!
He was dead and brought life! He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!

The world can't understand him, The armies can't defeat Him, The schools can't explain Him, and The leaders can't ignore Him.
Herod couldn't kill Him, The Pharisees couldn't confuse Him, and The people couldn't hold Him!
Nero couldn't crush Him,
Hitler couldn't silence Him,
The New Age can't replace Him, and Oprah can't explain Him away!

He is light, love, longevity, and Lord.
He is goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, mighty, powerful, and pure.
His ways are right, His word is eternal, His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me.
He is my Savior, He is my guide, and He is my peace!
He is my Joy, He is my comfort, He is my Lord, and He rules my life!

I serve Him because His bond is love, His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life.
I follow Him because He is the wisdom of the wise,
the power of the powerful,
the ancient of days, the ruler of rulers,
the leader of leaders,
the overseer of the overcomers, and is to come.
And if that seems impressive to you, try this on for size.

His goal is a relationship with ME!
He will never leave me, never forsake me, never mislead me, never forget me, never overlook me, and never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!

When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!

When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me! When I face Death, He carries me Home!

He is everything for everybody everywhere, every time, and every way.
He is God, He is faithful. I am His, and He is mine!
My Father in heaven can whip the father of this world.
So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand this...

He said it and that settles it.
God is in control, I am on His side, and that means all is well with my soul.
Everyday is a blessing for GOD Is!

~Priscilla Shirer

Love Story

2009-03-22T17:56:00.001-07:00

For the last two months, I have had the craziest dreams. Each of these dreams involves an unrecognizable man that I'm in love with, but each time we finally become a "couple" - I do something really retarded to mess it up....and I always wake up with a longing in my heart to have him back.

DON'T get me wrong! I am crazy in love with my wonderful husband, and we have a rock solid marriage. Larry is actually in these dreams with me, and it's clear that he is my husband.

I'm going through a period in my life where I know there are some things God is calling me to give up......yet, those things have become "god-like saviors" to me, and I have not been so eager to depart with them. In other words, I'm holding on to idols that Jesus knows are neither good for me, nor good for our relationship.

In these dreams, the time of unblemished romance with this "mate" is incredible. It's like that first stage in a new relationship where you walk around with your head in the clouds. But all too quickly, I turn away. In each dream I allow something to come between us which affects the level of intimacy between us. I have woken up each time with a deep ache in my heart......a sense that I'm missing so much by letting this relationship grow cold.

After dealing with this dream for the last few months, I finally stopped to ask myself why in the world these were becoming so consistent. I was baffled because there is no man on this earth I desire more than my husband.

About two weeks ago, I woke up with a distinct knowledge that the man of my dreams is Jesus. He is the ultimate love......and ours is a sacred romance. He is the man Who makes me beautiful; He is the God who created my need for intimacy, and He alone can eternally fulfill it. My crazy dreams have served to woo me back to my first love....and to remind me how sweet and exciting true love is.

But these idols to which I cling so tightly keep me from experiencing the pure, undiluted, joyful intimacy with Christ. Therefore, my aim is to allow my King to clean up this messy heart of mine (and my head, while He's at it). I truly believe that He is better than the worthless things which threaten to steal my joy. My utmost prayer is that the Lord would teach me to live what I believe! That Creator God would do what He does best and create in me a heart that beats solely for Jesus Christ!
How I long to daily be filled up with His love.....and to love Him back with every piece of me.

I pray that the true love of God will make you smile today. I hope you feel His loving arms wrapped around you so tightly that you can almost tangibly feel Him. I can't promise you He'll speak to you in dreams, but I can promise that if you search for Him with all of your heart you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). And when you find Him....may He sweep you off of your feet!

Scripture Memory Verse #6

2009-03-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

It's time for Scripture Memory Verse #6!!

This round I have chosen Philippians 3:10-11 (Amplified Version)

"[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in the Spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]

That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body]."

I chose this verse because I want the primary focus in my life to be to KNOW CHRIST. To know Him is to love Him.....and to love Him is to be transformed into His likeness. People who love each other spend time with each other, and I want to start each day by hanging out with Jesus.

God Really Satisfies

2009-03-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to Larry's alarm at 5:15am....and my immediate reaction was to tell him just how I felt about his failure to turn it off for the weekend before he left. Ahhh, then I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 8:00am! It was divine. Had my coffee and my weekend regular peanut butter and jelly toast, and then I crawled back into bed with my laptop and bible.
I mentioned in yesterday's post that my weekend plans included diving into a particular scripture that has been on my mind for some time now.

Psalms 81:6-16 has been my memory verse for the past two weeks. This verse has had much significance in my life since God first pointed me to it in 2001 (during a session with my therapist). At that time in my life, I was beyond struggling with bulimia: I was languishing in heart, soul, and mind. I was consumed not only with the ideal "thin" body, but with "filling up" my desires with all the food I could force into my stomach.
While I was at home for Christmas break during my third year in college, I met with a new therapist. God bless my parents.....I cannot imagine the turmoil they went through.....they were always trying to find a way to "fix" me.
During a meeting with this new counselor (which I wasn't exactly happy about), she prayed over me and I'm not kidding, y'all, I felt the weight of the world drop from my shoulders. As she prayed, I closed my eyes and saw typed words rolling across the front of my eyes. As the words typed out one by one (I'm guessing God just fancied using a typewriter at that moment....who knows?), I saw the scripture address: Psalms 81. I had no clue what this psalm said and to my knowledge I had never even read it -- but that's just how cool God is.
We (my therapist and I) immediately looked it up - and imagine my eyes popping out when I read, "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." (psalms 81:10b)
Thus began my love for this passage. At that time, I began to seek God - but soon fell back into deadly habits. It was not until five years later that this verse began to flesh itself out in my life. On December 27, 2004 I submitted to God and started to believe that He really could and would satisfy my empty heart.
That's just a quick history on how I discovered these verses.
Interestingly enough, God has directed me back to these verses within the last month - and I know all too well why He chose to do so. With that in mind, I pray you will receive a blessing from my meditation on this scripture.

According to Matthew Henry's Commentary on Psalms 81 (Blue Letter Bible, March 1996), "there is enough in God to fill our treasures (Proverbs 8:21), to replenish every hungry soul (Jeremiah 31:25), to supply all our wants, to answer all of our desires and to make us completely happy. The pleasures of sense will surfeit and never satisfy (Isaiah 55:2); divine pleasures will satisfy and never surfeit."
(In other words, the pleasures of the flesh will never be enough to meet the needs of our cavernous hearts.)

God is saying to us in this passage that He longs for us to LISTEN to Him - to understand that His ways for us are good. Everlasting delight and satisfaction are only found in Him.
I have been like the Israelites, bowing to idols and foreign gods; for many years, I worshipped my own selfish desires. I worshipped the covers of magazines; I bowed to the lust of my very own flesh....believing that this could somehow deliver me? satisfy me? No way! As God clearly says: "Idols/strange gods/foreign gods will only leave us longing for more, while He is the True God, the Living Water, the Bread of Life...willing and able to nourish our souls."

Another interesting element I pulled out of this psalm is that God declares, "I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the baskets." (v. 6)
According to Matthew Henry again, these "baskets" were pots the Israelites carried that were full of clay for brick-making. These pots had to be heavy and cumbersome, and yet the Israelites were forced by the Egyptians to carry these all day long to complete their tasks. But God is saying, "I delivered you; I took this burden from you! Can't you see that you don't have to do this any longer??"
In the same way, if I would take the time to truly know Him, to hear His voice and obey, I would realize the freedom Christ died to give me. I would enjoy the benefits of freedom...rather than picking up that clay pot of burdens before my feet hit the floor in the morning.
Here is a promise: "If my people would but listen to Me; if Israel would follow My ways, how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn My hand against their foes." (v. 13). Did you see that? He will halt our enemies; He will stop their attack, BUT we must first stop dead in our tracks, look UP to Him, acknowledge Him as our GOD; and basically CEASE to worship the false gods.
If we do this, God would feed us with the "finest of wheat" and "satisfy us with honey from the rock" (v. 16)
Just as the Israelites had a physical land of inheritance, we too have a spiritual "promised land". If we would live life "on our knees" in worship, then "there would not be a barren spot on the land of our inheritance" {Matthew Henry Commentary on Psalms 81; Blue Letter Bible, 1 March 1996}

I am totally jazzed by God's Word to me in these verses. Although I am no biblical scholar, I get excited when His Word falls fresh on my heart. I long to empty my hands of these darn clay pots, and to be satisfied with His unfailing love.

My prayer for all of us today:
Father God, my Redeemer Liveth!! You, who bought our freedom at a higher price than we can fathom, deserve all the glory in our lives. Cause our hearts to automatically look to YOU when we are hungry. And as we turn our eyes upon You - - may the things of earth grow strangely dim.
In the satisfying name of Jesus, AMEN.

My extra-special ME weekend!!

2009-03-13T12:43:00.001-07:00

This weekend, Larry, Kathryn, and Luke are all going to Larry's mom's in Oklahoma. I can't go because I have a major meeting on Monday; so I'm totally going to miss seeing my sweet mother-in-law. She is one of the most precious people in my whole life, and I enjoy spending time with her. Much can also be said about my favorite foods that she always cooks for me.....

She recently underwent major radiation therapy for skin cancer, and although we don't have the "results" yet, we are believing God for complete healing.

So my free weekend at home is costing me: 1) time with my Mom Dalke 2) bonding time with my Kathryn 2) and lots of good food. I guess I could include time with Larry and Luke - - but I certainly get lots of time with them. :)

Although it's obvious I wish I could be with my family over the next few days - - I am incredibly excited about a weekend to do WHATEVER I want!! I don't even think I'll make the bed for the next four days. I plan on reading at least two books and running at least 5 miles (not all at once). I will also be making a trip to the nursery on Saturday morning (if it isn't raining) to pick out my flowers for the flowerbeds in the front yard. Another priority this weekend is catching up on my Grey's Anatomy and renting a few movies that Larry can live without watching e.g. anything with romance and cheesy soundtracks.
And of utmost importance this weekend, I am going to dive into a chapter of the bible that I have been excited to study for a few weeks now. I'll update you all on what treasures I find!
I also can't wait to eat the Cadbury Creme Eggs that I just bought! Not that I can't eat those when Larry is around......but how wonderfully comforting and relaxing to watch Grey's Anatomy, drink a homemade latte and eat junk food? I also have Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints...my favorite) that I can drag out of the pantry, too. What fun!
If Larry were home, his "list" consist of more "fix-er-up" things. He would be so productive; his agenda would probably include things like changing the light-bulbs on a couple of lamps that need it; re-wiring the kitchen lighting; or painting over a couple of "scuffs" on the wall in the hallway. I, on the other hand, will enjoy the freedom of not doing a darned thing.
He'll be so proud when he comes home to find that the dishwasher hasn't even been unloaded (because, come on, like I'm going to actually USE dishes?? I'm going to be eating fast food all weekend for goodness sake!!).
I feel at this point I must defend myself - I'm not a lazy housekeeper (well, sometimes) - but I don't ENJOY it. That's why it's going to be put on the backburner this weekend. AND, the good thing, is that the house-cleaning lady comes on Wednesday.

Gotta go. Until next time......I'll be eating Cadbury Creme Eggs!!!

Amy

Scripture Memory Verse 5

2009-03-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

The scripture I have chosen to memorize over the next two weeks is Psalms 81:6-16. This verse has very special meaning to me: years ago the Lord directed me to this scripture during a therapy session (yes...of which I have had many). This particular time He literally etched this verse across my forehead as my therapist and I prayed together. It was like God was speaking directly to my heart when He says, "open your mouth wide and I will fill it..."
How often I look to other things to fill me up. I have danced with and entertained and loved on so many other idols only to find them empty and unsatisfying. But the Lord (the ONLY TRUE GOD) beckons us to listen to Him, to sit at His feet, and to receive the soul's true satisfaction. Every other means of fulfillment is temporary, unsustaining. But in God, we have an everlasting fat-filled feast. True nourishment that takes root in our hearts and feeds our spirits. I praise the Lord because He says:

"I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket.
In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud;
I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Selah
Hear, O my people, and I will warn you— if you would but listen to me, O Israel!
You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not bow down to an alien god.

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.
But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me.
So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.

If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways,
how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes!
Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever.
But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

~Psalms 81:6-16 (NIV)

Father God, thank You for Your faithfulness to us. Even though we have pursued other idols like they are going out of style, I thank You for welcoming us back to Your arms. Thank You for promising to destroy our enemies if we would just submit to You. How difficult that is at times, Lord. I become so convinced that what I really want is to satisfy my flesh.....but You whisper to me (and You sometimes shout!) that if I would simply listen to You, then you will turn Your hand against my foes. And not only that, Father, you promise that You will feed me with the finest.....and that You will satisfy me. Cause this heart to swell with belief, Lord. I want to be one of those who opens her mouth eagerly for you. Turn my eyes from worthless things - and may you open my eyes to any area of deceit in my life. Idols won't cut it, Lord. Idols in any shape or form can never give me what only You can. Everlasting life.....and everlasting fulfillment.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ,
AMEN

The TRUTH will set you FREE

2009-02-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

The truth will set you free. We've all heard that verse, "If you hold to My teaching, then you truly are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32 NIV)

But from what is the truth setting us free? All of you know that I am a Beth Moore fan (simply because she oozes love for Jesus). In her book, Praying God's Word in the chapter on "Overcoming Deception", Beth makes a list of lies we often believe when we are held in a stronghold. There are certainly more than we can list, but here are a few examples she cites:

I can never be victorious over this compulsion. I've had it too long.
I can't help the mess I'm in. I'm caught, and there's nothing I can do about it.
It may be an addiction (my word), but I really need it to get by.
I am absolutely worthless; nothing but a failure.
I'm in control here. This is not controlling me.
This isn't doing me any harm. I can handle it.
After all I've been through, I deserve this.
There is nothing wrong with this relationship. People just don't understand us.
God may work for some people, but he just doesn't work for me.
I'll just have to wait until heaven to get over this. Real victory is impossible here on earth.
God cannot possibly fill the void in my life; I need something more.
It's hopeless. I AM hopeless.

I'm sure each one of us can see ourselves in one of these lies. Sadly enough, I must admit I have probably believed the majority of them at one time or another.

For ten looonnng years of my life, I believed a monster. This monster sucked the life and energy out of me each waking moment of my life. This particular monster's more popular name is Anorexia & Bulimia. It ruled my belief system. Although I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour at seven years old, and had lived for the Lord at one time or another - when this deception took root in my heart, it took OVER my mind and eventually, my entire being.

I literally BELIEVED that the skinnier I could be, the more lovable and accepted I was. I BELIEVED that if I could rock a swimsuit without having a tummy bulge or love handles, my life would be great. However, if you have ever seen a skeleton in a swimsuit.....it's just not that hot. But that is just one example of how twisted my mind had become. I also BELIEVED that no matter how messy my life was, if I was thin, all was well. I also believed that if there was nothing else I could control, at least I could control my weight. Whew....HUGE lie....because the more "in control" of my weight I was, the more "out of control" my life became. This lying monster grew so out of the control that it landed me in treatment: not once or twice, but three times. Every time I got out of treatment, I was convinced that I was healed. Things would always be great for the first 1-2 weeks after my release. But one major thing was wrong. As surely as the day is long, I would slowly allow the Truth to be eclipsed by the Lies.

However, four years ago on December 27th, I entered treatment for the last time. The "trick" this time around was that I was so desperate, so absolutely helpless, that I cried out to God with all the breath that was in me. I knew that unless my mind was completely transformed, I would live the rest of my life in utter defeat. Although the "renewing of my mind" was by far not an easy thing, it led to victory. Faith works! It sounds so silly to say that, but when I got to the point in my life where I acknowledged my way was not the best way......He took me and changed me. Freed me from the pit of despair. Gave me hope. He is my hope....my only hope of glory.

I realize that not everyone has such a messed up mind; and not everyone goes to the extreme in everything they undertake (praise the Lord). But through my struggles, I have learned that everyone is susceptible to captivity. No one is immune to deception.

So....how does one go about "renewing their mind"? One thing that must be made clear....it's not a one time transplant. It's an active, continuous, regular practice of taking doses of the truth. One will never live a victorious life without the Word of God. How could you ever recognize the lies if you don't know the TRUTH? You simply cannot. And if we don't believe that; then I would dare to say that we are deceived. One excuse I hear so often (and have used myself) is that "I don't have time." Oh, but we do have time. We have time to spend in God's Word; we do have time to spend in prayer.....we have TIME for a relationship with God. The problem is that we don't TAKE the time. We choose to spend our time on what we believe is "worth it". Please hear me when I say, God is so worth it. God is so worth it.

Going back to the beginning of this post, John 8:31-32 says, "If you hold to my teaching, then you truly are my disciples. Then you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." If we are going to "hold to Jesus' teaching," don't we need to KNOW Jesus' teaching? Again....He is SO worth it. He will rock your world if you let Him.

The thankful recipient of His Grace,

Amy

Quiet Time

2009-02-26T14:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted a blog in over a week now, and I'm antsy to get back on here!!
I just have to say - I'm so hopeful in Jesus today. For the past few weeks, I have up-and-down-stressed-to-the-max-and-mostly-cranky. With the wonderful state of the economy these days, coupled with a boss that I love but who drives me insane, I have been a hot mess.
I wake up in the morning, even half dreading my quiet time. Which is REALLY ridiculous, since God is the only One who can tie my head on straight.
Have you ever struggled with the discipline of regularly spending time with the Lord? It's amazing to me that out of all our daily activities, we have a hard time "making time" for God! Most mornings, I drag out of bed at 5:55am (when Larry brings me my morning coffee....yes, he is the sweetest husband in the world) -- and by the time I'm fully coherent -- I don't have time to really listen to God. I generally mumble my prayers half-heartedly, read a few verses, and then jump in the shower. For the next forty days, I am making time with Jesus my priority. I am setting my alarm at 5:10am - and I will meet with God. I can't wait to see what He teaches me!
I'll keep you posted!!

Scripture Memory Round 4, etc....

2009-02-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I love structure; therefore I really love scheduled scripture memorization.....complete with the spiral notecard-notebook. Does that make me nerdy? Oh well, by the grace of God, I am what I am!
So my new verse is Psalms 73:23-28. I decided to commit this verse to memory as I was reviewing my notes from bible study last week.
The author begins the psalm by pouring his heart out to God about the many "successes" of the man who does not fear God. As He is being honest with God about these bitter feelings - his heart softens, and he ends up praising God for His faithfulness to him and for His invaluable worth.
This struck a chord in my spirit because I often have so many things I "just HAVE to HAVE."
I was in the mall with Kathryn on Friday night, and I saw so many new shoes that I just "HAVE to HAVE!" I also saw the new Spring fashion lines with all the cute little skirts and new tops. My mind just began buzzing with all the new purchases I HAVE to MAKE. On Saturday morning I was walking through our house and started to nit-pick at everything, noting everything that I "need" i.e. buffet table for the dining room, new pictures for the gameroom; "something" for the entry way; and while I was at it - I obsessed over the fact the whole house could use a major dusting/vacumming overhaul. Talk about some retail therapy that backfired! I was totally overwhelmed. Now, I exaggerate a bit; I'm truly not a full-fledged shopaholic (although we did see the movie last night, Confessions of a Shopaholic.....and frankly - the outfits and handbags were oh-so-awesome).
What I'm trying to say is that I LOVE THINGS. They make me feel better; at times, they make me feel "worthy"; and new things can often turn a bad day into a good one.
The psalmist in Psalms 73 is reminding himself that God is his portion; God is enough. God is what gets him up in the morning. God is the One who delights his heart. God is the one who sustains him when there is evil all around him. God alone is his deepest desire.
I want a heart like that. I long to have a heart that loves the Lord more than a new pair of strappy high heels. Along with the psalmist, I want to say:

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold those who are far from you will perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works."

Psalms 73:23-28 ESV

Amen, Amen, and Amen.

Scripture Memory Round 3

2009-02-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

This is a beautiful picture of my bible study friends. Last night we completed A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place -- a bible study written by Beth Moore. It was a 10-week study that we started in the fall (but due to the holidays and general life interruptions...we just finished the last session yesterday). And oh my! If you have not taken that study - it's incredibly eye-opening! It's quite intensive and sometimes overwhelming, but truly, truly, God has opened my eyes to the cohesiveness of scripture. From Genesis to Revelation - it all fits together! I realize that is a pretty basic generalization, but although I have studied the bible my entire life - I have never seen the correlation of the tabernacle in the old testament to JESUS. It's awesome! This study has fueled my faith and deepened my hunger to study His Word.

Okay - I'm a little late in posting my memory verse for the 3rd round of scripture memory - BUT, I already have it memorized so no big deal, right? :)

Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV)

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Father God, thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank YOU for your unconditional love, for your Word that is so PERFECT. Continue to fuel the fire in my heart; give me an undying passion to know You more and more. In the Mighty, Holy, Perfect name of Jesus. Amen.

Adam & Eve

2009-02-01T11:44:00.001-08:00

As many parents of 3-years olds do - we have a bedtime story ritual every night at around 8:15pm. This time is often very enlightening, not just for Luke, but for Larry and myself. Luke is at the most fun age where he says random things, has bewildering insights, and absorbs everything around him with a sponge-like brain.
On Wednesday night of this past week, we were going through our normal bedtime routine and reading a story out of his toddler's bible. Larry and I used to actually read stories to him, but lately Luke insists on telling the story himself (making sure to point out every tiny detail, as if he's teaching us something we have yet to discover). On this particular night, we were flipping the pages in his bible - and he stopped at the story of Adam & Eve. He looked at me in all seriousness, and said, "Mommy, do you know what happened here? Do you know why that girl is crying?" (In the picture, Adam and Eve are standing near "the tree" and Eve has bowed her head in tears). I asked him to tell me what had happened. He responded by saying "Well, God told her not to touch that tree so that it wouldn't hurt her. And she didn't listen to him and she touched it and now she is crying because it hurt her - just like God said."
Now, I have never told Luke the story of Adam & Eve; therefore I'm assuming he heard it in Sunday school. And obviously, he didn't get the story exactly right......BUT, the overall concept was correct.
Ever since that night, Luke's version of the story has echoed in my mind. How often am I convinced that "I know better" than God? How many times have I deliberately chosen my way over His - because I didn't believe His way was any better? And THEN - look at all the times I have suffered the consequences of my sinful choices? I may not see the consequences clearly every time I ignore God's direction - but you can bet I missed out on sweet fellowship with Him. God gives us boundaries because He knows what is BEST for us. He knows that sin hurts: it hurt Eve when she didn't listen - and it hurts us when we refuse to listen.
God spoke to the Israelites through the prophet Isaiah saying, "....listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." (Isaiah 55:2b NIV)
If we choose to turn our ears off to Jesus - then we miss the blessing of obedience he longs to give us......and that blessing of obedience far outweighs the momentary pleasure of disobedience we experienced.
So Luke was right in a way: Eve cried because she didn't listen to God - and it hurt her.
I speak encouragement to my own heart this afternoon as I sit here and type this next verse:

"Hear O my people, and I will warn you -

if you would but listen to me, O Israel!

You shall have no foreign god among you;

you shall not bow down to an alien god.

I AM the Lord your God,

who brought you up out of Egypt.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."

Psalms 81:8-10 (NIV)

Four Confessions of an Heiress....

2009-01-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

I have been intending all week to give my highlights from Tuesday night's bible study. However my intentions were stalled by the flu. SO - better late than never. I must preface this blog by noting this is simply my debrief of our Session Two of The Inheritance bible study (Beth Moore).

Our Four Confessions of an Heiress, thus far are:
1) God has made me an Heir.
2) I am a real, live heir of God and co-heir with Jesus Christ.
3) Because I am a woman, I am technically an HEIRESS (oh - i love that!).
4) The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance (ps 16:6)

Although I could write a couple of essays on what God spoke to me on Tuesday night, the MAIN thing He drove into my mind was this question: "Do I believe God is a giver or a taker? How do my actions say that I believe?" WHOA! Hit me like a ton of bricks.
My initial reaction was to say, well of course God is a giver. However, I don't necessarily think I live this way. Going back to the first temptation in the Garden of Eden, Satan led Eve to believe that God was keeping something from them (i.e. fruit from the Tree of Knowledge). Centuries and centuries later - am I still believing this lie? Do I think that I have to go my own way and do the things the way I want them done if they are to get accomplished? AND, don't I fear sometimes that in order to live God's way - I have to give up FUN things?

Bottom line: God is a GIVER!! He doesn't have to take from us to get glory -- He has to give of Himself to us to get glory! He LONGS to give to us. God wants us to get it through our sweet stubborn heads that if we would only cooperate with Him - - He would bless us beyond our wildest dreams! We don't have one inch of a clue what God has in store for those who give there lives to Him.
Do I really believe Him? Do I believe Him to the greatest lengths of depths of my life? Do I fully trust that He is Who He says He is? and that He can do what He says He can do? Do I? Do you?

I SO want my life to be a wild ride with Jesus. I want to KNOW Him, BELIEVE Him, and understand WHO He really is!

Father, make this a JESUS-YEAR. I pray that 2009 will be a year of renewal, restoration, revelation, and revival.....not just for me personally.....but for my family....for my friends....for my co-workers....for my church. Enlighten the eyes of our hearts so that we will know your glorious riches! Flame the fire in our souls! Tear down our walls and destroy our strongholds of fear, pride, and unbelief.

Let us REJOICE and HOPE and TRUST in You, the only true God.
In the name of the Beloved Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Cooking update...

2009-01-19T07:07:00.001-08:00

Well, I've discovered that my cooking handicap may be somewhat related to the efficiency of my oven (seriously!). Neighbor Kathryn (I must distinguish between Neighbor Kathryn and Daughter Kathryn) and I made Chicken Cordon Bleu - and we baked it according to the directions. However, when we took it out at the appropriate time indicated on recipe - it wasn't even halfway cooked. SO - I'm chalking up my half-baked cake drama to an improperly calibrated oven. There is such freedom in discovering my oven shortcomings.

A prayer for today: "Father how I thank You that my help comes from YOU, the Maker of heaven and earth..." Psalm 121:2

Now - if only You would help me in the kitchen.....

I love Sundays!

2009-01-18T15:40:00.001-08:00

It's Sunday evening, and I'm getting ready to cook dinner with my neighbor friend, Kathryn. We are both SO not mini-Martha's, but we try. She's truthfully probably a little farther along than I am.....considering last night I tried to bake a cake, and it came out soggy. It's just not my gift. I truly believe that God gives some people a cooking talent, and I just didn't get that. I mean, it may not be biblical, but how else can you explain that I just CANNOT mix ingredients together and have something come out "delightful"?
Oh well, Kathryn's here - let's see what I can mess up this week!

Scripture Memory Round 2

2009-01-15T06:01:00.001-08:00

My second verse for 2009's scripture memory:

"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and I pray that you, being rooted and established in love...." Ephesians 3:16-17a (NIV)

I'll be finishing the rest of verse 17 next round....so I know it leaves a cliff hanger - but it is what it is.

I love that God has poured out ALL of His riches on me! What an amazing reality....how would my life be different if I lived out this truth? How would your life be different if you lived out this truth? Something to think about.....

Confessions of an Heiress

2009-01-14T06:15:00.000-08:00

I've changed the name of my blog to Confessions of an Heiress. Now, I'm not kidding myself in believing that I have a worldly fortune coming my way. No, this name comes from the REALITY of my inheritance in Christ.
Last night was the first night for the spring semester bible study at Houston's First Baptist. It's Living Proof ministry's bi-annual study taught by none other than Beth Moore (see earlier blog to know that Beth is my BFF....well, in my head anyway). The subject of this new study is the Inheritance, and last night we got a glimpse of what our true inheritance in Jesus Christ is. He made us for so much more than a mundane existence. We are REAL-LIFE HEIRS of God and co-heirs with Jesus Christ.
I am uber-excited to learn more over the next nine weeks, and I'm especially excited to see how God will use this study to open my eyes to His riches.

So, an earthly heiress I am not......but an heiress of something greater - - YES, I AM!!

Friday flashback of this week....

2009-01-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

So the Sooners lost. Big HUGE Bummer. We watched the game at the neighbors house - and I had to go home to bed early (during the 4th quarter) because I just hate to lose. I didn't even want to come to work and face the world today....but luckily everyone was sympathetic and there are no obnoxious people who love to see me suffer.

I am extremely glad that the holidays (while they're wonderful) are over, and we are back in our normal routine. I think Luke is even glad to be back at Miss Dorothy's, although he refuses to go to the potty on a regular basis. I pray this isn't an indication at the stubbornness we will face when he's a teenager (oh please God don't let it be like "what goes around comes around"!!). Save me from that I beg You!!

Kathryn is coming to our house for the weekend. She's a sophomore this year; therefore Larry and I think this will be the last year that we actually have her every time we're scheduled to see her. It's already getting to be hit or miss since she's such a little socialite. Good thing is that she loves to be at our house so hopefully we'll still see her a lot.

I'm really looking forward to next week because I start my bible study on Tuesday night. My friend Allison and I have been taking a study every January through April (taught by Beth Moore "live") at Houston's First Baptist. It's always such a God-experience - and I can't wait!!

Since I'm supposed to be working this morning, I should probably get back to that.....but I wanted to check in with everyone. I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Amy

Anxiety-Be-Gone

2009-01-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

I have been in San Francisco since Friday (for work....not fun), and I'm so ready to be home. We left (my co-worker, Christine, and I) on Friday, January 2nd and we return home tomorrow evening. It's so weird because everyone goes back to full-swing routine today: to their offices, to their schools, to their normal lives. Yet, I'm not in my "normal" life - so I'm feeling anxiety. It's like everyone else is getting on with their 2009 - and I'm getting a late start. Not a good feeling for a competitive-obsessive-perfectionist.
My devotional today, though, gave me some food for thought to combat these helpless feelings. It suggested that we put our hope in God, who is the un-changing Rock of Ages. We (me in particular) so often put our hope in things, in our finances, in our jobs, in our appearance. How un-faithful these things are! My job can bring me temporary "happiness" when I close a deal; my cute new outfit(s) can make me feel confident for a couple of hours; my finances can bring me only false security; and the purchases I have made so far in San Francisco (yikes, please don't tell Larry) can only fill up my emptiness for a brief amount of time. So why am I so tempted to rely on things and circumstances to bring me some sense of peace? It hasn't worked yet! Only God can satisfy us....and when we don't KNOW Him, when we don't take the time to get to KNOW Him i.e., spending regular time with Him, we will never experience the undiluted joy and peace that only Jesus can give us.
So knowing this - I will mentally place all of the burdens of this day at the Lord's feet, and I will trust that He can handle my feelings of anxiety. They are completely unfounded.....the worst that can happen in this day that I'm not in my office is that I miss a call from a client (they can leave a voicemail) or that I don't get someone's interview scheduled because my blackberry service is jacked up momentarily (a major source of this helpless feeling!). It will all be there for me when I return to the office on Wednesday. In the meantime - I can enjoy this city of San Francisco - - keeping my eyes on Jesus all day long - - and when the negative thoughts attack me, I will remind myself that even the mountains are His, this world spins around only because He designed it that way, and that if the birds don't worry about their clothes or food - - then I shouldn't either. I am precious to the Lord; I am His beloved; and because He loves me just the way I am - - all my "fears" are just silly.

My prayer for all of us today: Dear Lord, thank You for knowing us inside and out and still loving us boundlessly. Thank You for giving us Your Truth to combat the lies that surround us daily. May this day be filled with yet undiscovered blessings.....and may we recognize Your work in our hearts minute by minute by minute. You don't abandon the work of Your hands; and heaven forbid that we forget that for one moment. Feed our souls with an onslaught of Your love today. I love You....and I so desperately need You. In the name of the Only One who can save us......amen.

2009-01-01T12:48:00.000-08:00

We went to the zoo yesterday (New Years Eve 2008) - and as you can see, we were all smiles.....we had such a great time. Everything is an adventure to Luke!

Happy NEW Year

2009-01-01T07:10:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning with a sense of excitement, and I was reminded of this verse, "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). God's mercies are new and fresh each morning we open our eyes to a new day.....not just on January 1st....but EVERY day. I'm going to pray that God would put a brand new excitement in our hearts every morning. Great is His faithfulness!

This year, I'm going to be memorizing 24 new verses as a part of Beth Moore's blog (see link below)
http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/2008/12/anybody-game.html.
My first verse is Isaiah 33:6 - "He is a constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him." This is crazy, but I picked this verse out last week and set it aside to be my first memory verse for this year......and when I logged on this morning to post my verse to Beth's blog -- I saw that she and I picked the same verse!!!! How COOL is that?? Everyone who knows me, knows that Beth Moore is my best friend (well, she actually doesn't know me personally, but we're still BFF in my head). So when I saw that, I laughed and thought how cool God is sometimes.

Anyhow - I have to get off of here now because Larry is taking me to Barnes & Noble. I have to snatch up this chance any time I have it because Larry detests book stores. I sometimes wonder how in the world I could marry someone who doesn't like to read....it just goes against the grain...but I digress.

just a minute before I go shopping

2008-12-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

Larry is golfing; Luke is at Miss Dorothy's; and I am patiently waiting for my BFF to come pick me up for a morning of shopping. It's peaceful in the house: the cats (Tiger and Kali) are snoozing on the rug in the living room, and our horse of a border collie is lounging on a chair (outside, of course).
Today I am praying that I will keep my eyes focused on Jesus, and that I will allow the world to become strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. You just have to love old hymns.....
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus.....look full in His wonderful face....and the things of earth will grow strangely dim....in the light of His glory and grace."

I am a sucker for an old Baptist Hymnal. The kind we used in the small country church my family attended growing up. I used to think that was so outdated, given that we have such beautiful contemporary praise and worship these days. But I have begun to cherish those songs as I have gotten older: part of my heritage in the Lord.

Okay - I guess I'm running out of reflection time. May God be the God of my purse on this shopping trip!!

Almost a New Year....

2008-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

As 2008 draws to an end, I (like so many others) start to reflect on what the year has been....and what changes I want to see in the coming year. This year has been an emotional roller-coaster for me; I have allowed myself to drift away from my relationship with God - and little by little, I have made my way down into a pit. At this point, I'm aggravated at myself, and a bit miffed that knowing what I know, and having experienced the joys of fellowship with God - it was so easy for me to take the bait. And still, through it all.....through my Israelitic (is that a word) mind, through my stiff-necked rebellion and through my determination to hang on to my flesh -- God is still in love with me. How absolutely, absurdly, phenomenal is that? To love this girl, made out of dirt and stubbornly obsessed with herself, to the lengths of death on a cross?
My hope for 2009 is that I would fall head-over-heels for Jesus Christ; that I would know Him more deeply and intimately; that this uphill/downhill relationship I have with Him would be forever changed.....that it would grow deep roots in love.
May God have His way in this girl's life this year....and the year after that....and the year after that.......
Bless the Lord oh my soul! And all that is within me - - bless His holy Name!!

2008-09-28T17:17:00.000-07:00