Waiting.....for what?

I have been waiting.

For what, I’m unsure.

There has been a little (or a big) something that God and I have been working on weeding out of my life for the last three years. This is something that God has explicitly told me time and again NEEDS TO GO. So why, you ask, am I still holding on to it?

Because I’m waiting! I’m waiting for the day it will become easier to let go of this. I’m waiting for the perfect day in which there will be no craving or longing for this particular habit. And I’m waiting for the day when He just snatches it from me, and I am gloriously willing to be obedient.

Ha! And the joke is on me. Because waiting is just a state of limbo to which Satan has lured me. He has blinded me with lies of how “one day, I’ll wake up with the self-control to do this……but it doesn’t have to be today.”

This “thing” has been choking me for three years, people…..and you would think that I would willingly and humbly lay it down. Especially since I am a woman who loves God, a woman who desires God’s glory to be evident in her, and a woman who is serious about bible study!

Oh! But it’s not so easy to let go of that "thing" which provides so much comfort! This “thing” is a pleasure; it’s a friend; it’s enjoyable; and yes, it’s an idol. I have acquiesced to Satan’s lies of how I cannot live with out it because life would be less endurable. But is life just something we “endure”? What a bold-faced lie! Yes, the enemy has stood on my inheritance for years - taunting me with the threat of hopelessness of ever reaching the promised land.

…..and then Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

Do I have to wait for this abundant life? Will there ever be a perfect day to surrender? No, for goodness sake – NO to both questions! Because I am a child of God (an heiress!), my rightful state of existence is a joyful, free life. I can choose to believe God will satisfy me even when I’m aching for a temporal fix. I can fall on my face and cry out to Him for fulfillment; for help; for deliverance. When I do this, He will faithfully provide.

I have been missing God’s best for me as I have danced with the lies of the enemy. However, I should tarry no longer…..his best is there for me today. And if I kid myself in saying, “I’ll wait for that perfect day when_____,” then, well, I’m just missing the best.