Sunday, March 22, 2009

Love Story

For the last two months, I have had the craziest dreams. Each of these dreams involves an unrecognizable man that I'm in love with, but each time we finally become a "couple" - I do something really retarded to mess it up....and I always wake up with a longing in my heart to have him back.

DON'T get me wrong! I am crazy in love with my wonderful husband, and we have a rock solid marriage. Larry is actually in these dreams with me, and it's clear that he is my husband.

I'm going through a period in my life where I know there are some things God is calling me to give up......yet, those things have become "god-like saviors" to me, and I have not been so eager to depart with them. In other words, I'm holding on to idols that Jesus knows are neither good for me, nor good for our relationship.

In these dreams, the time of unblemished romance with this "mate" is incredible. It's like that first stage in a new relationship where you walk around with your head in the clouds. But all too quickly, I turn away. In each dream I allow something to come between us which affects the level of intimacy between us. I have woken up each time with a deep ache in my heart......a sense that I'm missing so much by letting this relationship grow cold.

After dealing with this dream for the last few months, I finally stopped to ask myself why in the world these were becoming so consistent. I was baffled because there is no man on this earth I desire more than my husband.

About two weeks ago, I woke up with a distinct knowledge that the man of my dreams is Jesus. He is the ultimate love......and ours is a sacred romance. He is the man Who makes me beautiful; He is the God who created my need for intimacy, and He alone can eternally fulfill it. My crazy dreams have served to woo me back to my first love....and to remind me how sweet and exciting true love is.

But these idols to which I cling so tightly keep me from experiencing the pure, undiluted, joyful intimacy with Christ. Therefore, my aim is to allow my King to clean up this messy heart of mine (and my head, while He's at it). I truly believe that He is better than the worthless things which threaten to steal my joy. My utmost prayer is that the Lord would teach me to live what I believe! That Creator God would do what He does best and create in me a heart that beats solely for Jesus Christ!
How I long to daily be filled up with His love.....and to love Him back with every piece of me.

I pray that the true love of God will make you smile today. I hope you feel His loving arms wrapped around you so tightly that you can almost tangibly feel Him. I can't promise you He'll speak to you in dreams, but I can promise that if you search for Him with all of your heart you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). And when you find Him....may He sweep you off of your feet!
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nphillips said...

This entire Blog is totally related to that book I told you to read - Captivating! I know you are a busy lady but that book changed my life. Amy, I am completely INSPIRED by your words -by your Faith. Your Faith is so strong, it truly warms my heart! Reading your entries just confirms that I am not where I need to be. I need to be closer to! Thank you for sharing your thoughts - I will start my journey back today.