Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Waiting.....for what?

I have been waiting.

For what, I’m unsure.

There has been a little (or a big) something that God and I have been working on weeding out of my life for the last three years. This is something that God has explicitly told me time and again NEEDS TO GO. So why, you ask, am I still holding on to it?

Because I’m waiting! I’m waiting for the day it will become easier to let go of this. I’m waiting for the perfect day in which there will be no craving or longing for this particular habit. And I’m waiting for the day when He just snatches it from me, and I am gloriously willing to be obedient.

Ha! And the joke is on me. Because waiting is just a state of limbo to which Satan has lured me. He has blinded me with lies of how “one day, I’ll wake up with the self-control to do this……but it doesn’t have to be today.”

This “thing” has been choking me for three years, people…..and you would think that I would willingly and humbly lay it down. Especially since I am a woman who loves God, a woman who desires God’s glory to be evident in her, and a woman who is serious about bible study!

Oh! But it’s not so easy to let go of that "thing" which provides so much comfort! This “thing” is a pleasure; it’s a friend; it’s enjoyable; and yes, it’s an idol. I have acquiesced to Satan’s lies of how I cannot live with out it because life would be less endurable. But is life just something we “endure”? What a bold-faced lie! Yes, the enemy has stood on my inheritance for years - taunting me with the threat of hopelessness of ever reaching the promised land.

…..and then Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

Do I have to wait for this abundant life? Will there ever be a perfect day to surrender? No, for goodness sake – NO to both questions! Because I am a child of God (an heiress!), my rightful state of existence is a joyful, free life. I can choose to believe God will satisfy me even when I’m aching for a temporal fix. I can fall on my face and cry out to Him for fulfillment; for help; for deliverance. When I do this, He will faithfully provide.

I have been missing God’s best for me as I have danced with the lies of the enemy. However, I should tarry no longer…..his best is there for me today. And if I kid myself in saying, “I’ll wait for that perfect day when_____,” then, well, I’m just missing the best.
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Jennifer said...

I know what you mean Amy. WAITING for things to be perfect BEFORE... Thank you for reminding me that doing that makes me miss HIS best for me!! Powerful!

Did you get my email... I had a question for you?

Robyn said...

There are so many things that are like this for I will start this when this happens or when I can do this I will stop this, just and= infinite list of if only it were like this it would be easier for me to that! How sad that I put my amazing God into such a small box, not realizing that while I can't He can! He is the only perfect one any way, not me, and the only way that I can even be seen as perfect is by being covered in His righteousness. I am praying that I will not put God in a box, I think I will be amazed at what we an accomplish together! Love your posts Amy keep it up!!!

Melanie said...

amy - let me just say i completely, totally get this post. I am going through the exact same thing. It's something that would not be sin for others perhaps, but God has told me for me it is. I also sense that God is saying to me, I'm not taking you to higher ground until you obey me in this.
Thank you for your heart for God and to do what He wants you to do. I'm praying you obey today!