I fell off the face of the earth....

Hi Friends,

I am sheepishly writing this post....

The last few months in my life have not been full of shining moments. Needless to say, I retreated; talked to very few people; ceased any form of online communication unless it was work-related; and basically hid in a hole.

I won't discuss the reasons or issues or anything like that, simply because they are too fresh and too personal. I will say, however, that my mind has cleared and God's mercies are new every morning. I am so utterly thankful that He loves me even though I'm a mess. I'm super glad that He heals and loves and offers amazing, limitless grace. This girl is just a fool at times....a fool who needs Jesus.

SO, there you have it. I'm here. alive and well. and back to blogging. AND, get this: I'm doing the Bible in 90 Days again....this time, I'm not quitting in the second month. Take that, Devil.

An update on the exciting life of Amy Dalke.

I have spent the last two months in a blur. It seems as though I have had barely enough time to read two rounds of the Little Critter books with Luke before bed. So that's why I haven't been writing lately.....not that I have less time in 24 hours than anyone else; blogging just hasn't been a priority (even though that was a New Year's resolution). Well, another one bites the dust. I'm used to it. (grin)

But this post isn't a whine session, although I'm pretty skilled at that. In all actuality, this post isn't about anything of substance. Oh yeah, except for that introductory sentence.....an update on my exciting life. I think I have already covered that when I mentioned the Little Critter books. That's about as eventful as it gets around here.

One thing I have learned since January 1, 2010, is that I constantly need God. I cannot make one decision without Him. I am absolutely convinced that He is IT. He is everything to me.
Without Him, I'm done. A waste. A fool.

Of course, I'm not just realizing that....but it has become blatantly clear to me over the last two and a half months that I am just a disaster waiting to happen when I step out of His light. When I try to convince myself that doing things my way "won't be so bad".....I'm brought directly to my knees in desperation. This enlightenment should not have to take on such regularity, except that I am as stubborn as they come. Pride rears its ugly head in me so quickly that I literally need the Word to be intravenously fed to me at times.

I am ever so thankful - increasingly grateful - for grace. As a 32-year old woman prone to wander, I am humbled by the fact that His grace is sufficient for even me.

I'm off now to have birthday cake with a sweet 11 year old girl. And yes, the exciting life continues....

Walking Through Spider Webs

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks: so much for that resolution of writing 3 posts a week. :)

Although I have not been consistent thus far in the blogging portion of my resolution, I HAVE stayed on track with reading the Bible in 90 days. I'm patting myself on the back for that one, because this consistently inconsistent gal needs some sort of self-congratulation when relative success has been achieved.

That introductory prideful paragraph has nothing to do with the subject of this post, however. So pretend I have just written a beautiful transition paragraph [here].

I have recently been working closely with a client, who has (on the surface) an astounding ego and a confident presence in the world of economic consulting. His educational background is revered in his particular line of business; and at a young age, he has built for himself an empire which his competitors covet.
With multimillions in the bank and houses across the country, this man is what the world deems successful. He writes policy papers that stimulate new trends in one of our world's largest industries, and he testifies as an expert in high-profile lawsuits on behalf of his Fortune 10 clients.
This man, however, is empty. He is constantly searching for "more". The checks aren't big enough; the glamorous trips don't satisfy; and his mini kingdom doesn't fulfill the ache in his heart. Although he has certainly not communicated this information to me, it's obvious that he is insecure and unsatisfied.

I have spent time with him, in which he is constantly trying to impress me with his achievements: both financial and intellectual. He talks of his ability to do anything and go anywhere that money can afford.

As I was reading my Day 38 today, this man came to mind as I read one of Jobs' friend's monologues. I found such truth in Bildad's words:

"What he trusts in is fragile; what he relies on is a spider's web. He leans on his web, but it gives way; he clings to it, but it does not hold." -Job 8:14

Though my client has "the world at his fingertips," he holds on to emptiness.

We can trust in our status, but it does not hold against the weight of disaster.
We can trust in our ability to do business, but it does not hold when the economy takes a downward spiral.
We can trust in our intellect, but it does not hold when no one else listens.
We can trust in our athletic ability, but it does not hold when we suffer a season-ending injury.
We can trust in our appearance, but when natural aging takes place, physical beauty fades.
We can trust in our health, but the doctor's words remind us this body wasn't built to last forever.
We can trust in our bank account as security against disaster, but this, too, is temporary.

Our only hope is to trust in God's unfailing love. God has promised that, "He will never leave us, nor forsake us." (Hebrews 13:5); He has given us the unbreakable assurance that, "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39)

So for my client who trusts in his spider webs, I pray for his eyes to be opened. For me, I pray for constant awareness of the frailty of worldly security. I pray for the ability to recognize the deceitfulness of riches and to flee from it's clutches.

The Lord is good, and His lovingkindness endures forever. He is the ONE thing, the ONLY thing, that endures forever. AMEN.

18 days straight

I'm on Day 18 of Reading the Bible in 90 Days. Can I even tell you how much I'm patting myself on the back because I have consistently done something for the last 18 days??

Actually, doing something consistently for the last 18 days is not the big shocker. The fact that I have consistently done something that is not self destructive for the last 18 days is the big deal.

Oh please, you know what I mean. It's not like I have a drug habit or anything like that. Although as prone to sin as I am, it's only by the grace of God that I'm not begging and stealing for my next drug fix.

Can we skip that entire introduction? Because I don't want my mom to get a whiff of this post and think I need to be in therapy for drug related issues. No, mom; I'm just being relative here.

Back to this post's original intent (well, if it had one). I'm quite all over the board today, so pardon me if you're getting annoyed.

Over the course of the last 18 days, I have fallen in some love with Moses. How awesome that he got to meet with God face to face. How cool to be called God's friend!! And I just hate it that he didn't get to go into the Promised Land. For crying out LOUD, he dealt with those whiny Israelites for 40 years just to get them there.....and then all he got to do was look at the view from a mountaintop?

Although Moses and I have developed a bond, I am far more enthralled with Moses' God. Over and over He shows love to the Israelites...and over and over they reject Him. As I always do when I'm reading, I put myself in the Israelite's shoes (or sandals?). I get so frustrated with them, but I'm certain I would be right along with them, fashioning my own handmade idols and worshiping all sorts of false gods. I'm just amazed at the persistence God exhibits on their behalf. His love is relentless!

And as cool as it is that Moses had such an intimate relationship with God..we are invited to an even closer relationship. WE ARE GOD's DWELLING PLACE.

Moses et al had to cart around the tabernacle from place to place....and offer up all kinds of sacrifices before they could be in God's presence. Yet Emmanuel....God with us. Christ came to this earth and lived among us, so that He could be THE one and only sacrifice for our sins. He died on that cruel cross and rose again victoriously so that the veil was torn and we could intimately fellowship with God every single moment of our lives. No priest stands between us. No curtain that we cannot cross. No more sacrifices. Only Jesus...

And speaking of Jesus: He is the only reason I can do ANYTHING non-self-destructive for 18 days straight and counting.....Praise the Lord.

By the way - I think this post could win a "most random award.."

Bible in 90 Days updates and such

I'm on Day 11 of the Bible in 90 days.....and still plugging along. I have been excited to wake up each morning to spend time in God's Word (with The Word), and I've found that the Lord has spoken to me daily.....even in the book of Numbers. Go figure. Who knew he doesn't just appear in Psalms and the New Testament!?

So here is today's SOAP on my reading:

Scripture: Numbers 16:37-38a

"Tell Eleazar, son of Aaron, the priest, to take the censers out of the smoldering remains and scatter the coals some distance away, for the censers are holy -
the censers of the men who sinned at the cost of their lives......"

Observation:

Korah and his companions sinned at the cost of their lives! God opened up the earth to literally swallow them whole because they insisted on "having their own way". Isn't that the root of all our sin......the persistance to just have things done...or do things...our own way?
Although we may not die an earthly death when we commit sin, we can be assured that a little piece of our abundant life shrivels up and dies. It is reality: sin = death. Spending enough time wallowing in our own self-willed flesh kills us every time.
My heart aches and my stomach hurts as I am convicted of this fact in my own life. Our choices can be deadly if they aren't founded in the wisdom of God's living word.

Application:

Note to self: do not take things into my own hands.....
Note to self: Trust that God's way is better than mine: every single time. There is not that "one time" that I have it right all on my own.
Note to self: Revere God as the Author of Life; the Creator - the MasterMind of the Universe. He deserves our utmost respect. ("The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
Note to self: Don't act like Korah.

Prayer:

Lord, I look up to the heavens, and I acknowledge Who created this universe. If I cannot trust Your ways above my own, then I am in sad shape.....because who better to listen to than the One who knows all things? Forgive me for asserting my own will so deliberately and foolishly. Thank You for Jesus....because without Him, I would surely suffer the same fate as Korah.
Thank You for providing the perfect sacrifice. It pains me to even imagine how small I make You in my mind. Open my eyes so that I can see You everywhere....hear You everywhere....and follow You everywhere.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Bible in 90 Days - Post #2

So I am on Day 5 in my Bible in 90 Days reading. For this Type A girl who loves structure, I am in love with this new adventure. I especially love checking the box each day after I have completed my reading.

However, completing the task is not the only thing I am enjoying about this. Each morning, I am spending time with the God of Creation....the Author of the Word...and that is the coolest. I have done bible studies for the last 15+ years, but this is truly the first time that I have read scripture in a structure set up to take me through the whole bible. Needless to say, I have looked forward to hearing what God has to say to me each morning!

It's virtually impossible for me to post every day, so although I won't have a post for what I have learned in each reading, I will blog about my observations at least 3 times a week.

This morning's stand out scripture was Exodus 3:7-8:

"The LORD said, 'I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.
So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites.'"

Observation:

The Lord cares. He cared about the misery of the Israelites' slavery, and He cares today about our own imprisonments. Whether they be physical or emotional.....externally or interally afflicted - the Lord cares. And just as He came down to rescue the Israelites from the hands of the Egyptians, He sent Jesus in the form of a man to rescue us from our slave drivers.
The promised land of the Israelites was physical land; whereas our promised lands are spiritual.....but oh, the joys of walking with the Lord in our good and spacious land: land that flows with milk and honey, peace and joy, comfort and love.
As we trust in the Lord daily and learn from Him.....we little by little drive out the Canaanites, the Hittites and the Amorites from living on our inherited promised lands. These "-ites" are different for all of us...but they are enemies, soul-terrorists, anything that stands on our souls to keep us from taking hold of the best God has for us.

Application:

Today, I will curl up on the lap of Jesus, and rest in His care. I will trust that the promised land He holds out to me is better than living in slavery to my sin.

Prayer:

Father God, You are an All-consuming fire. Set my heart ablaze for Your Truth. God of Heaven, You heard the cry of the Israelites and You had great compassion for them. Help me to see and believe with all my heart that You rise up to show compassion for me. Go before me today and destroy the enemy. Get them off of my land and lead me on into Truth. Thank You, Jesus!

Bible in 90 Days: Post #1

I cannot even tell you how excited I am for the next 90 days. I am praying that God just pours out His blessing over us as we journey through His Word!

I am adopting the SOAP method of bible study for the next three months, and if you are wondering what that is.....I've stolen the idea from Amy at Mom'sToolBox.

Scripture: Genesis 21:1

"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what He had promised."

Observation:

The Lord is faithful to His promises. His promises to me (and you!) are too numerous to recount every single one. He promises us a way out of temptation; He promises to never leave us or forsake us; He promises that our minds cannot even conceive what He'll do with a life surrendered to Him; and He promises to supply every last one of our needs.
May I victoriously proclaim, "Now the Lord was gracious to Amy as He had said, and the Lord did for Amy what He had promised."

Application:

I shall BELIEVE! I will believe Him for His promised escape from temptation. I will believe that He is the only true satisfaction. I will believe that obedience to Him is rewarding, and I will believe that life under His Lordship is the greatest adventure. I will lean on His understanding as opposed to my own, and I will believe that He loves me unconditionally. I will believe that His blood was enough to cleanse me of sin, and I will believe that I don't have to work for righteousness. It is our right as God's children to know Him intimately and believe Him.

Prayer:

Gracious Father, fill my heart with faith in You. In the hollow, empty places of my soul, fill me up with Your satisfying presence. Swell my heart with belief in You. Let it be true of me when I say, "I'm BELIEVING God!!" I want to know the joy and peace found in believing You. Thank You for your faithfulness. You are so trustworthy, Jesus.