Monday, January 5, 2009


I have been in San Francisco since Friday (for work....not fun), and I'm so ready to be home. We left (my co-worker, Christine, and I) on Friday, January 2nd and we return home tomorrow evening. It's so weird because everyone goes back to full-swing routine today: to their offices, to their schools, to their normal lives. Yet, I'm not in my "normal" life - so I'm feeling anxiety. It's like everyone else is getting on with their 2009 - and I'm getting a late start. Not a good feeling for a competitive-obsessive-perfectionist.
My devotional today, though, gave me some food for thought to combat these helpless feelings. It suggested that we put our hope in God, who is the un-changing Rock of Ages. We (me in particular) so often put our hope in things, in our finances, in our jobs, in our appearance. How un-faithful these things are! My job can bring me temporary "happiness" when I close a deal; my cute new outfit(s) can make me feel confident for a couple of hours; my finances can bring me only false security; and the purchases I have made so far in San Francisco (yikes, please don't tell Larry) can only fill up my emptiness for a brief amount of time. So why am I so tempted to rely on things and circumstances to bring me some sense of peace? It hasn't worked yet! Only God can satisfy us....and when we don't KNOW Him, when we don't take the time to get to KNOW Him i.e., spending regular time with Him, we will never experience the undiluted joy and peace that only Jesus can give us.
So knowing this - I will mentally place all of the burdens of this day at the Lord's feet, and I will trust that He can handle my feelings of anxiety. They are completely unfounded.....the worst that can happen in this day that I'm not in my office is that I miss a call from a client (they can leave a voicemail) or that I don't get someone's interview scheduled because my blackberry service is jacked up momentarily (a major source of this helpless feeling!). It will all be there for me when I return to the office on Wednesday. In the meantime - I can enjoy this city of San Francisco - - keeping my eyes on Jesus all day long - - and when the negative thoughts attack me, I will remind myself that even the mountains are His, this world spins around only because He designed it that way, and that if the birds don't worry about their clothes or food - - then I shouldn't either. I am precious to the Lord; I am His beloved; and because He loves me just the way I am - - all my "fears" are just silly.

My prayer for all of us today: Dear Lord, thank You for knowing us inside and out and still loving us boundlessly. Thank You for giving us Your Truth to combat the lies that surround us daily. May this day be filled with yet undiscovered blessings.....and may we recognize Your work in our hearts minute by minute by minute. You don't abandon the work of Your hands; and heaven forbid that we forget that for one moment. Feed our souls with an onslaught of Your love today. I love You....and I so desperately need You. In the name of the Only One who can save us......amen.
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